Mesmero’s Revenge!

First eh fashion industry, and now Broadway. Spidey’s really taking an interest in the arts. Unfortunately, though, this battle with Mesmero was once again a complete misfire. And what was with that drug dealer that kept showing up? Did he have a point?

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A Method in his Madness!

We finally find out what Jonas Harrow’s up to — he has developed a “mental attitude-response variator ray…a device which will drive men mad!” That’s pretty cool, isn’t it? He’s the one that cause J. Jonah Jameson to go batty, and presumably is causing the problems for Robbie Robertson too.

It actually takes awhile for Peter Parker, let alone Spider-Man, to show up in this issue. It’s an interesting choice, and it works! There hasn’t been much going on in Peter Parker’s world lately, and it’s nice to see some of his normal non-Spidey life (even if it’s still saturated with super villains).

I love when people fuck with Spidey’s mind, as long as it’s well-done. This issue was. Check out these two panels:

Hehe, whim-whams. And how about this bit of comedy gold:

That, along with gesundheit jokes, will always be a classic.

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Pretty Poison

Sweet cover! Brutal issue, though. Spider-Man saves the fashion world! I certainly hope Madam Belladonna never makes a reappearance.

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Spider-Man in “The Trap”

June 1980:
Conan the Barbarian #111, Ka-Zar #9, What If #21, Captain America #246

Clearly this is such an awesome title that they had to use it twice. Yes, this is the second Hostess Spider-Man comic entitled “The Trap”. How clever.

This particular Hostess ad has a weak plot, though I guess that’s not a great surprise. Larcenous Lil and her two henchmen manage to trap Spider-Man in a net, even though his Spider Sense warned him of danger, and even though dropping a net on Spider-Man as he swings by is a stupid plan. Once captured, en route to Lil’s lair, Spidey offers one of the thugs some delicious Hostess Twinkies Cakes to let him go. Although he sense that Lil will be displeased by his actions, the thug is unable to resist the confections and let’s Spidey free. When they all arrive at Lil’s lair, Spidey webs the dame up. Hurray.

Let’s face it: these Hostess ads are ridiculous. There’s no way to play them straight, which is why I much prefer the ads that are more absurd and surreal. This was just a really lousy caper, with nothing rewarding.

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…In Love and War!

So I guess Christmas has come and gone? If Pete’s going back to school?

Anyway, in this story we find out that the Black Cat is head-over-heels in love with Spidey, though in a kind of crazy, “I’ve lost my marbles” kind of way. Michelinie has a couple missteps, but overall I really liked what he did here.

Incidentally, I wouldn’t mind an explanation of why/how the Black Cat is alive, and how her bad luck powers work.

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The Black Cat Always Lands on Her Feet

The Black Cat reemerges… and it’s nice. Good, playful dialog between her and Spidey. The mysterious insanity that’s gripping J. Jonah Jameson and seemingly affecting Robbie Robertson — and how Jonas Harrow is involved — has also captured my interest.

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When a Spider-Man Comes Calling!

The Frightful Four, with Spider-Man held captive, attack the Fantastic Four.

Surprisingly, this continuation of the story in Spectacular 42 was even worse than the first part. Once again it was almost entirely one big fight scene; no character development, no plot, no surprises. And, frankly, the fight itself even kinda sucked.

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Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death!

The Frightful Four — the Wizard, Trapster, Sandman and Electro — lure Spider-Man into a trap at the Statue of Liberty. They beat him up. That’s about it, really. At the end, Spidey is their prisoner and the Four are going to go attack the Fantastic Four. It was…ok? Nothing really new here, but it wasn’t a terrible read.

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Where Demons Feat To Dwell!

Another disappointing Dazzler issue. This one consisted almost entirely of a fight between about a million heroes and a bunch of demons called forth by the Enchantress. It was really boring and, even though the winning blow went to the Dazzler, it again seemed like a way to distract the readers from the title character.

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So Bright This Star

Well, my enchantment with the Dazzler is over. This issue was pretty terrible. I hate when debuts (or any issue really) is just filled to the brim with lame guest cameos, as a thinly-veiled attempt to draw in new readers. I guess it works — Spider-Man’s appearance is, afterall, why I’m reading this trash — but that doesn’t excuse it.

The issue fails on so many levels. First, Dazzler’s power seems to have gotten lamer since her appearance in Amazing Spider-Man. Instead of creating some kind of powerful light beams, she now creates silly light patterns in the air that simply befuddle her opponents. She also doesn’t seem to use her magic disco ball anymore, which is a total shame.

The structure of the issue is also a complete mess. The issue hops around from Dazzler to Spidey to the X-Men to a lame origin flashback to Asgard to the Avengers and back. It’s all a bunch of roundabout nonsense that leaves the reader as disoriented as the Dazzler’s victims.

Finally, the character herself is just completely uninteresting and unsympathetic. It’s fairly clear DeFalco doesn’t have any idea what to do with her, and it’s pretty telling that she only appears on of 15 out of 23 pages in her own debut title. The issue should be jam-packed full of Dazzler awesomeness, giving us an exiting taste of the character and the direction of the book. Instead we get weak filler.

(Also: Spider-Man makes a comment about getting photos for the Bugle. Potential problem in placement?)

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Bewitched, Bothered and Be-Dazzled!

I don’t know why, but I’ve really looking forward to the Dazzler. Is it because I know she’ll suck? Because I dislike (most) disco? No! It’s because she zips around on roller skates and turns music into light with a magic disco ball! WTFantastic!

This cover is amazing. Seriously. You know what else is amazing: Pete and the gang going to see Star Trek. Yeah, that’s right. ON THE WORLD’S TINIEST MOVIE SCREEN:

Wow, Star Trek on a 2.7″ screen. Hot.

So the action gets pretty lame…who cares? So the plots a stinker…big deal. This issue still has enough badassery to make it a fun read.

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Meteor Madness!

Well, this sucked. Why bring back a mediocre villain like Meteor Man if you’re not even going to do anything interesting with him? Why bring Giant Man into the mix if you’re not going to do anything interesting with him? This was all very much by the numbers. I guess it’s cool that Meteor Man ended up dying (permanently though? No.), but overall this was just pretty lame.

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One For Those Long Gone!

Not a super interesting episode, but Pollard and Mooney’s art was top-notch. The last few books I’ve read have looked really great.

Man-Hunt!

Apparently J. Jonah Jameson has had a nervous breakdown. Neat. This issue is mostly about Spidey and the Punisher going after some mob guy, and the Punisher suspecting that Peter Parker is up to something. There’s no resolution really, the story is continued in the next issue.

This might be in the wrong spot? Pete runs into MJ and says he hasn’t seen her in months. He just saw her in Spec 38 or something I think though. So that’s weird. Probably just a topical reference to the fact that she hasn’t appeared in ASM for months — at least, that’s what the Official Index claims.

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The Terrible Turnabout!

Now this is an issue! This Spider-Lizard business was fantastic! Sweet, sweet art by Sprinter and Villamonte brought Mantlo’s engaging story to the next level. Why can’t Mantlo write like this all the time? My only complaint — and it’s a small one — is that when Spidey reverted back to a man, and his mask was torn, it was kind of a cop-out for Connors not to see his real face. I think it would have been a really interesting turn for their characters if Dr. Connors learned Pete’s true identity. Anyway, that’s not important. The issue completely lived up to its title, and was truly Spectacular.

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Scourge of the Schizoid-Man!

A fairly mediocre outing, though much better than the last issue. Here Spidey fights that Chip kid, who has become The Schizoid Man. That part’s pretty dumb, unfortunately. The cool thing is that, back when Spidey helped beat the Lizard last time, he absorbed some kinda lizard rays that are changing him. He’s now a raging maniac, and at the end becomes the Spider-Lizard. Awesome.

Curt Connors forgets his own name:

Great art, at least in spots.

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Curse of the Living Vampire!

Well, this was terrible. First of all, Morbius is such a shitty character, or at least shittily used. His whole story here was completely clichéd and boring. And the end? RIDICULOUS! Morbius drinks a bit of Spidey’s blood and gets by lightning and he’s cured! OMGZ! Gimme a break. The two mildly interesting aspects of this issue were Pete’s awkward run-in with MJ, and that Chip guy’s mutant freak-out.

Buscema and Stone really phoned in the art.

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Homecoming!

This story sucked kinda. It was about one of the Guardians of the Galaxy, Vance Astro, trying to convince his younger self to not take the same path he did. While I generally like time-travel stuff, this was just boring. The Thing’s part was useless, too, which is kind of annoying since this is his book. Also, Spidey just showed up in one panel, saving a construction worker.

This guy looks like Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen:

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And Men Shall Call Him… Octopus!

This is a continuation of sorts of the story in ASM Annual 13. Here, Spidey fights Doc Ock some more. The issue as a whole largely fails, due to lackluster writing by Mantlo and incredible boring and occasionally muddled art by Buckler and Mooney. Nowhere near as good as the ASM Annual. The one point at which the book gets interesting is near the end, when Doctor Octopus starts becoming completely unhinged and starts talking to his arms and referring to him and them as “we” — very Hobbit/Lord of the Rings. It’s a nice touch, but it doesn’t save the issue.

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The Arms of Doctor Octopus

This was an awesome issue. Really great story. Seriously cool art in here, too. Kudos to everyone involved.

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Chaos on Campus!

This is a promo comic given out with the Columbus Dispatch in 1979. It features Peter Parker fighting the Hulk on the first day of school. There a number of weird things about it:

- Pete has the hots for a girl named Cindy Sayers, that he’s apparently been pining over for the last semester. I’m not sure how this could fit in.

- The Hulk is referred to in the narration as “Dr. R.B. ‘David’ Banner”, clearly evoking the 70s TV show. However, in the show Banner’s name was David Bruce Banner, so this is just a topical reference.

- Similarly meant to evoke the TV show, the Hulk doesn’t talk

If this is canon (I’m willing to bet it can be placed somewhere, but I haven’t figure out where yet), I’ve read it in the wrong spot.

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The Gamma Gambit

Yes, that’s right: toilet paper. This comic was printed on toilet paper. Back in 1979, you too could wipe your asshole with your favourite super-heros.

In this story, Spidey and the Hulk (in their civilian identities) are both watching a radiation demonstration when in bursts the Leader. Both heroes fight him and then go on their separate ways. The story was short, simple, and fun. And it was printed on toiler paper.

This is definitely not in the correct spot. In it, Peter doesn’t know that the Hulk’s alter ego is Bruce Banner. This means it must come at least before Marvel Team-Up 53.

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By The Dawn’s Early Light!

Dragon Man!
Writer: Roger Stern
Co-plotters: Roger Stern, John Byrne
Penciler: John Byrne
Inker: Josef Rubinstein
Letterer: Jim Novak
Colorist: Bob Sharen
Originally published: August 1980

Death, Where Is Thy Sting?
Co-plotters: Roger Stern, John Byrne
Penciler: John Byrne
Inker: Josef Rubinstein
Letterer: Jim Novak
Colorist: B. Sharen
Originally published: September 1980

The Terror of the Taskmaster
Writer: David Michelinie
Penciler: George Perez
Inker: Jack Abel
Letterer: John Costanza
Colorist: Carl Gafford
Originally published: June 1980

Cap For President!
Story: Roger Stern
Photography: John Byrne, Josef Rubinstein
Typography: James Novak
Color: George Roussos
Originally published: October 1980

CA 247-249 tell the tale of Machinesmith, a robot master. They’re good, but Spidey never appears. There is a Spidey robot, and an off-hand mention of the real Spider-Man, but that’s it. I just read them for fun basically, but technically they shouldn’t really be in the project. Also, CA 247 and 248 should have come before M/TU 95.

Avengers 196 features a one-panel flashback of Spidey swinging on a pole — completely inconsequential. Its story about the Taskmaster was pretty good as well.

CA 250 features Spidey in one panel, considering the possibility of Captain America as president.

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…And No Birds Sing!

Arriving at the airport in LA, Pete witnesses a lady getting attacked by some dudes. Although the lady defends herself well, Pete jumps in as Spider-Man to help. Unfortunately, it turns out that the dudes were SHIELD agents and the lady, Mockingbird, is a wanted woman.

Later, Pete decides to help SHIELD capture Mockingbird. Everything goes bananas, and it turns out the SHIELD agents in question are corrupt and Mockingbird is good. Nick Fury pops in to dish out the punishment.

Although all the baddies end up put away, at the end Mockingbird is gravely injured.

This was a nice intrigue-y issue. Good, entertaining read. Also, there are flying cars, like in Back to the Future.

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