The Parker Legacy, Part Two: Who Life is it, Anyway?

Spider-Clone goes to see Aunt May one last time and catches a bus outta town. See ya! He’s kind of a whiny bitch, but a tough whiny bitch, so it’s alright. There’s a John-Candy-in-Planes,-Trains-&-Automobiles-type dude on the bus that Spider-Clone tells to fuck off, which is a good part. This particular story loses marks for an extended and somewhat boring dream sequence.

Rating:

The Parker Legacy Part One: A Shock to the System

Continuing from where we left of with the Spider-Man clone. In this story he is trying to deal with his cloneness, and ends up going to Pete’s apartment to steal some money and clothes before taking off. He briefly considers killing Peter Parker and taking his place, but decides against it.

This also probably should have come before Marvel Team-Up 36.

Rating:

Skirmish Beneath the Streets!

Looks like the new Amazing writer might actually be Len Wein. He has experience, but I didn’t really dig his work on Marvel Team-Up. Then again, Team-Up just kinda sucks no matter what, so hopefully Wein does better here.

…and he does. This was a pretty decent story, touching on the clone stuff, Ned and Betty’s engagement, the surprise (to me and the gang) return of Harry Osborn, as well as the beginning of a confrontation with the Shocker. Not the most riveting issue, but definitely a decent read and a solid start for Wein.

Note: I’m thinking the incinerator scenes all take place before that Team-Up stuff I just read.

Rating:

“Scorpion… …Where is Thy Sting?”

So everybody in this issue is saying that Gwen’s been dead for two years, but every other issue indicates it’s only been a few months. That’s super weird, but I guess Marvel-time can be confusing.

In this issue we get the first hints that the Jackal is behind the Gwen-cloning. The best part about all this is that clone-Gwen doesn’t know she’s a clone, and doesn’t understand what’s going on. As far as she’s concerned, she’s just normal Gwen! I wonder what her memories of the last two years are like.

The Scorpion shizz is still boring, but at least now it’s tied in with the Jackal stuff. Does the Jackal know that Pete is Spider-Man? Hmm, I think he might, and so does Peter.

Rating:

The Master Plan of the Molten Man!

The Molten Man hasn’t been seen for almost 100 issues of Amazing Spider-Man, but now he’s back! And Liz Allen! :O

Conway’s back to intrusive narration. He also slips up and has Robbie refer to Pete as free-lance, when at this point he’s actually on the payroll.

The Liz Allen thing gets dropped pretty early to focus on Molten Man, which is pretty typical stuff. I would have liked the focus to be more on her mysterious reemergence and less on his, but maybe that’ll happen next issue.

Rating:

Wolfhunt!

• Half the art is underwhelming, but the other half is fantastic – like this John Jameson panel blow. In fact, John’s whole flashback is super sweet.
• John Jameson’s origin as Man-Wolf is from some crazy moon rock. That’s pretty badass. The moon scenes was great.
• MJ’s problems with harry, and the subsequent cold shoulder she gives Pete, are intriguing. I’m curious how they’re relationship will develop.

Really great issue overall. The writing was snappy and had really good pacing. Peter’s attitude and behaviour comes off as real and, most importantly, interesting to read. I absolutely loved the scene with JJJ at the end.

Rating:

The Mark of the Man-Wolf

Ten days since Gwen and Norman Osborn bit it, and things aren’t getting any better for Spider-Man. The issue opens in the rain, and it’s a perfect way to set the mood. Mysteries still abound – who is covering up Osborn’s secret identity? What was up with that guy in Montreal that wanted to see Aunt May?

Those questions won’t be answered here, unfortunately. This issue shows Peter’s continuing struggle to deal with Gwen’s death, as well as introducing a new problem: J.J. Jameson’s son John has become a werewolf!

First, the Gwen stuff. Pete oscillates between trying to convince himself that he’s fine and ready to move on, and having wild outbursts and mood swings that point to the exact opposite. He attempts to go to class, can’t handle it, and flips out at MJ and Flash. These school scenes are the best in the issue. Later, he cracks up and smashes a newspaper box, destroying its content. (Sure he often destroys way more property than that, but it’s usually in the form of Spider-Man and usually for a greater good. This time he was just venting.) He then takes off, fully intending to attack Jameson. He’s become unhinged. The anger fades, but still…pretty shocking that it bubbled up in the first place.

Man-Wolf: Dave Hunt’s colouring gets lousy marks for his work on John Jameson. The Junior JJ has always been a striking brunette, but Hunt has given him completely grey hair. I realize that his hair could have greyed over time, but it’s obviously just a screw up. It irks me. And what’s with all the werewolf stuff? This is from September ’73. In August ’73, Spider-Man was dealing with the Werewolf. Now he has Man-Wolf? Gerry Conway wrote this one and plotted the other one, so it isn’t just a crazy coincidence. Conway’s wolf-crazy.

This issue wasn’t bad, and it’s nice to get back into an issue that’s taking a larger look at the ongoing arc, rather than just wrapping everything up super neatly. The Man-Wolf stuff doesn’t get resolved here, and is continued in the next ASM.

By the way, I think this is the last Gil Kane appearance in Amazing Spider-Man. His art here pretty much sums up how I’ve felt about his whole run – it’s a total mixed bag. There are some things in here that I love, that look totally awesome. And there are some panels that just look uninspired and bad. I don’t know if it’s just me, but Kane’s work has never seemed consistent. I’m usually excited by artist changes, and this isn’t an exception. I just hope the new stuff is by someone good!

Rating:

…Just a Man Called Cage!

Chemistro!
Words: Steve Englehart
Pictures: George Tuska, Billy Graham
Lettering: Charlotte Jetter
Coloring: Petra Goldberg
Originally published: August 1973

…continued from where the last issue left off. the mysterious person from the last issue has removed goblin’s costume, so that spider-man is now being blamed for osborn‘s death, rather than the goblin’s. jameson has vowed that spider-man will die for this and decides to hire luke cage to take spidey out.

gwen’s funeral gives a good chance for conway to over-narrate. once that’s over, the funeral scene is pretty good i guess. pete and flash bury the hatchet, everyone’s sad, and pete admits to mj that he feels lost without gwen. jjj doesn’t show up, which surprised me. i know he can be a self-centered jerk, but he often has a caring side that comes through. robbie defends jameson, saying that sometimes jj can just be tactless, but it still seems a bit out of character. i guess maybe it can be explained if we assume jj’s just distraught by his friend norman osborn’s death. the reason jj missed the funeral was to go hire luke cage to capture spider-man, dead or alive.

later, pete’s swinging around to try and clear is head, but it’s not working. unlike with uncle ben and george stacy’s deaths, this time pete doesn’t feel any guilt. he does feel intense sadness and loneliness. once again, peter considers retiring from the whole super-hero game, but this is right when luke cage takes the opportunity to tackle him. spidey gets pissed and temporarily kicks cage’s ass. all thoughts of quitting are gone, at least for the moment.

when pete gets home harry is there, and he gives old petey the coldest shoulder i have ever seen. it’s a pretty bitchin scene.

pete leaves, goes out with mj to the uni. cage shows up, they fight. spidey comes to his senses, and they end up talking it out. cage returns jameson’s money. the talk apparently also made peter realize he isn’t alone…because he’s friends with luke cage? that’s just weird and dumb. maybe if they showed the talk it would make more sense, but it comes off as trite.

the issue is not terrible, but the luke cage stuff falls a little flat. pretty weak cross-over in my opinion. it would have been nice to have an issue dealing with pete’s grief that wasn’t just a shameless promotion of another book. oh well. the personal stuff – funeral, mj, harry – was all really good, and i’m excited to see who the mystery man is that messed with osborn’s body.

spider-man appears in the splash page of luke cage’s book, as a flashback to their fight from asm. the story then goes completely elsewhere. this is spider-man’s only appearance in hero for hire, by the way. the issue is not half-bad, and it’s really interesting how different in tone it is from the spider-man books. i liked it, but this ain’t a luke cage blog.

Rating:

The Goblin’s Last Stand!

Spider-Man is furious after the Green Goblin has killed Gwen Stacy. Before attacking Osborn, though, Pete takes the time to bring Gwen’s body down to a nearby pier. He then launches into a very fast and, unfortunately, very sloppy attack. The Goblin is able to escape.

Returning to the pier and Gwen’s body, Pete finally has a chance to say goodbye to her. In fact, he says much more than goodbye and has a quite lengthy conversation to her, which is really quite sad and slightly disturbing. Again, Conway does a fantastic job of capturing Peter’s anguish. The police have also arrived, though, and when they demand a little attention, Spider-Man loses it and ends up getting into a bit of a brouhaha. Blaming himself for Gwen’s death, Spider-Man takes off to try and quash his guilt the only way he knows how – by seeking revenge on the Green Goblin.

Peter’s first stop is the Osborn mansion, to see if he can get any information out of Harry. The poor sod is in the midst of a major freakout and, disgusted and angry, Pete turns to leave. When his friend begs him to stay and help, to not abandon him like everyone else has, Pete just turns his back and literally slams the door in Harry’s face.

This scene is another example of Conway’s surprisingly great writing in this issue. Rather than have Peter be a hero and help his friend, Conway instead makes him much more human. Pete is overcome with grief and revenge is all he can think about. Yes he acts like a complete dick to Harry, but it’s understandable and makes for a much more powerful issue.

Next, Pete – as Spider-Man – heads over to the Daily Bugle in hopes of rounding up some info about Norman Osborn. With the help of Robbie Robertson, he’s able to track the villain down to a warehouse. The Goblin, meanwhile, is expecting Spider-Man and lays a trap. When Pete finally arrives though, he outsmarts Osborn and is able to take him by surprise.

While they fight, the Goblin makes the very unwise move of calling Gwen useless, and saying that “she never did more than occupy space”. This, naturally, riles Peter up like nobody’s business and he just starts wailing on the Goblin. He’s just seriously beating the living crap out of Osborn and, I must admit, it’s very satisfying to see. After awhile, though, Peter begins to come to his senses and realizes that if he continues, if he kills the Goblin, he’ll be no less of a murderer than Osborn is.

Taking advantage of this break, the Goblin uses a remote control to activate his flyer, behind Peter. As Peter struggles with his demons, Osborn sends the glider hurtling towards Spider-Man. What he hasn’t taken into account, though, is Pete’s spider sense. Just at the last instant, Spider-Man ducks out of the way and slams into the Green Goblin instead. The razor sharp tips of the glider, propelled by its jet engine, pin Osborn’s body to the brick wall. Only after the jet dies down does Osborn’s lifeless body slump to the ground.

Realizing that his foe is dead brings no satisfaction to Peter. He realizes that the death is meaningless, and that he now feels even more empty and alone. As Pete sulks away, we see that he is being watched by a mysterious man in the shadows.

In an epilogue, Pete finally arrives back at his apartment and finds Mary Jane. With grief and anger still washing over him, Pete snaps at MJ. He basically calls her shallow, and uncaring, and he orders her to leave. But, unlike Peter only a few hours earlier, she stays behind to help her friend.

This issue is no worse than the last. Conway finishes up his story with great skill, and creates a very powerful turning point for our hero. Basically every praise I gave for issue 121 still holds true here. I was very pleasantly surprised with the quality of this book.

Rating:

The Night Gwen Stacy Died

I had written a glowing review of this issue, as well as reviews of the next three things on the list. Then I accidentally deleted them. So this is my second go-around at it. Normally I wouldn’t be thrilled at the prospect but, frankly, this issue was so good that I don’t mind re-reading and re-reviewing it.

Amazing 120 ended with Peter wrapping things up in Montreal. At the start of this issue he’s back in New York, ready to go visit a very sick and drug-addled Harry Osborn. Harry has been taking LSD and is quite sick. Harry’s diagnosis says that the drugs, combined with Harry’s existing state of depression has led to schizophrenia. When Peter actually tries to go see Harry, he is confronted by a very angry and very unhinged Norman Osborn. Osborn accuses Peter, along with Gwen and MJ, for Harry’s situation and orders them out of his house. Freaked out by the episode, Peter can’t help but wonder if Osborn is starting to lose control and slip into the grip of the Green Goblin again. After they leave, Norman Osborn, consumed with legitimate worry for his son and concern over his dwindling fortune, is beginning to crack up. Outside, Pete and Gwen wonder aloud about Harry’s motivations for taking the drugs, Mary Jane casts her eyes downward in shame and mumbles a half-hearted “I don’t know.” I suspect that MJ might know more about Harry’s troubles than she’s letting on.

Later, Spider-Man is heading to the Bugle and finds himself winded and dizzy. This is the part of the issue I have the biggest problem with, for three reasons. This “Peter has an illness” sub-plot has been used before, I believe even used the last time Pete fought the Goblin. It’s sole purpose is to provide an excuse for Peter fighting at a level below his norm. Having been done before, the sheer mention of his illness comes across as being tired and unoriginal. Furthermore, the reason for this illness is extremely flimsy – Pete speculates that because he’s not used to the “zero-degree weather” up in Canada, he must have picked up a virus. Here’s the problem:

1. Montreal’s weather isn’t that different from NYC’s
2. Viruses have nothing to do with temperature

Anyway, I know this is a small problem to focus on. Frankly, it’s really the only weakness in the issue, so it’s easy to blow it up out of proportion. Onwards…

Back at the Osborn home, Harry’s doctor has just left and Norman is feeling guilty about everything. As his sanity starts to slip away he has a hallucination of Spider-Man attacking him and, as he vows to kill Spidey, all of Norman’s memories flood back to him. He remembers that he is the Goblin, and he remembers that Peter is Spider-Man. Taking off into the night, Osborn heads straight to one of the Goblin’s old hideouts and makes his transformation complete.

As Pete heads back to his apartment, he’s looking forward to a long overdue talk with Gwen. Little does he know that the Green Goblin, aware of Peter Parker’s secret identity, is heading to the same apartment where Gwen is waiting. When Peter arrives he finds the apartment a mess. A small, unmistakeable pumpkin sits atop Gwen’s handbag on the floor.

Desperate to find the Goblin and Gwen, Spider-Man heads out into the city, trusting his spider sense to lead him in the right direction. He is finally drawn to the top of the George Washington Bridge, where he finds his prey. As Spidey approaches, the Goblin calls out his conditions – either Spider-Man dies, or Gwen Stacy does.

Not satisfied with this offer, Spider-Man attacks and, after a fairly brief fight, delivers a massive blow to the Goblin’s ugly mug. As Spider-Man races towards an unconscious Gwen, he doesn’t realize that the Goblin has recovered quicker than anticipated. Just as Spidey reaches her, the Goblin swoops by on his glider and sends Gwen toppling towards the icy water hundreds of feet below. Thinking quick, Spidey shoots out a web to catch Gwen and he does!

Giddy with relief, Spider-Man pulls Gwen back up… only to find that she is dead! There is some controversy over the cause of Gwen’s death. The Goblin tells Spider-Man that the shock of the fall killed Gwen, that nobody could live through a fright like that, and Spider-Man accepts this explanation. Some people believe that Gwen was dead before the Goblin even sent her over the edge, that she was dead before Peter arrived.

I believe most people – myself included – think that the cause of Gwen’s death was Spider-Man’s own web. There is an unmistakeable “snap!” as the web stops her descent, indicating that the sudden stop caused a massive whiplash and broke her neck. Unknowingly and quite unintentionally, Peter has killed his own true love. Of course, that’s only in the most direct sense. Has Pete done nothing, Gwen surely would have died anyway. The Goblin had condemned her and there was really nothing Peter could have done, but the details really do make it a much sadder situation.

The panels when Peter realizes that Gwen is dead are incredibly moving and convey very realistic emotion. It’s impressive that Conway and Gil Kane manage to make Spider-Man so expressive behind his mask. In a way, it reminds me of Hugo Weaving’s performance in V for Vendetta – there is a surprising depth of emotion coming through, even though all the features and details of the face are hidden.

The issue ends with Spider-Man, clinging to Gwen’s body, shaking his fist in the air and vowing that the Goblin will die for what he’s done.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I usually hate Gerry Conway’s writing. The drastic shift in quality from his usual output to this issue is startling. Conway manages to tell a very human, very touching story here. I don’t know if maybe he’d been putting in so much time and effort on this issue that his other work suffered, or if he really just finally hit his stride here. All I know is that this issue was great and lived up to my very high expectations.

Besides Conway’s writing, the art by Gil Kane (along with Romita, Mortellaro and Hunt) and even the lettering by Artie Simek were fantastic. Other than the annoying bit about Pete’s virus, this issue was damn near perfect.

Having reached this point in the project is weird. Gwen Stacy’s death has always been a milestone in front of me, and now that I’ve passed it I’m not sure what I have to look forward to. Part of me is eager for the Secret Wars, for Venom and Carnage, for the Clone saga. But none of these are as iconic and important to Spider-Man’s history – and the history of comic books – as Gwen Stacy’s death. This issue was a very important marker in the project, and I’m very glad it was as good as I had hoped.

Rating:

The Gentleman’s Name is…Hulk!

Spidey’s last adventure (though not last issue) before the whole Gwen Stacy thing goes down. Shit. The suspense is killing me.

Pete reads a telegram for Aunt May that came from a mysterious man in Quebec. Once he gets there, he has to fight the Hulk in an extremely long, boring sequence. The issue ends with both of them falling over a dam into some icy cold water.

Note: Harry and Norman Osborn act super weird at the beginning of this issue. Foreshadowing!

This issue was a stinker, but hopefully the story will pick up with the next issue.

Rating:

Suddenly…The Smasher!

The Deadly Designs of the Disruptor!
Script: Stan Lee, Gerry Conway
Art: John Romita, Jim Mooney, T. Mortellaro
Lettering: Sam Rosen, Artie Simek
Coloring: Stan G.
Originally published: February 1973

Countdown to Chaos!
Script: Stan Lee, Gerry Conway
Art: John Romita, Jim Mooney, Tony Mortellaro
Lettering: Sam Rosen, Duffy
Coloring: Stan G.
Originally published: March 1973

Ok, these three issues are weird, because they’re basically a reprinting of the story “Lo, This Monster” from Spectacular Spider-Man Magazing #1, only updated to fit into the current story line. I’m reading them, but basically ignoring anything that deals with the recycled plot (which I will consider non-canon and non-existent). Instead, I’ll be focusing on all the subplots that get resolved and forwarded over the course of this retread.

So here’s what happens:

• Spider-Man gets his real mask back from the Bugle
• Gwen feels guilty about the Aunt May situation
• Peter confronts Gwen about Flash, finds out he’s an idiot
• Peter still has an ulcer
• Aunt May likes working for Dr. Octopus, and his “business associates” are being nice to her while Ock is in jail

Rating:

The Last Battle!

Hammerhead and his men bust into the house to fight Doc Ock, who runs into a secured control room. Eventually they get in there too, so Ock fights a bit and then runs off again.

Elsewhere in the house, Aunt May has knocked out Spider-Man but he is starting to come to. It’s bullshit that his spider sense didn’t warn him of Aunt May’s attack, and it’s bullshit that an elderly woman with a vase could knock him out. When he wakes up he needs to hold on to some curtains for support and says that his skull feels like it had a run-in with a Mack truck or a bulldozer. Really? From a vase wielded by an old lady? Come on, man.

Meanwhile, Gwen Stacy and Robbie Robertson are trying to track down Peter. Thanks to a tip from Ned Leeds, they head off towards the Westchester mansion where all the action is.

Back at the house, Spidey tangles with Hammerhead. That guy has apparently stolen something important from Dr. Octopus’s control room, but he takes off before we find out what. A headbutt from Hammerhead has apparently “snapped [Spidey's] stomach-muscles” (WTF?) and aggravated his ulcer, so now Petey is in some pain.

This pain miraculously self-heals long enough for Spider-Man to fight Dr. Octopus who, we discover, is in love with Aunt May. Although Spider-Man is able to beat the crap out of Ock, May pulls a gun on him before he can finish things off. Startled by a police siren, May actually fires at her nephew. Fortunately her aim is off and Spider-Man is given a chance to escape.

The cops haul away all the baddies. As Octopus is being taken away in cuffs he asks May Parker to stay and look after the house for him. She accepts, and tells Pete and the gang that she won’t be returning to the city with them.

I still hate Gerry Conway. Why can he not handle simple things like maintaining continuity and consistent characterization? Do snapped muscles – something that sounds quite serious – really just feel better because you will them to? Would Aunt May really pull a gun on anyone, even Spider-Man? Would a conscious Doctor Octopus really agree to be lead away by the cops, while his mechanical arms were only a short distance away? So many plot holes and unbelievable developments – coupled with Conway’s infuriating narration – basically make this story impossible to enjoy. Unless you’re stupid.

Romita’s art is great as usual, so that also makes it slightly more tolerable.

Rating:

Gang War, Shmang War! What I Want to Know is…Who the Heck is Hammerhead?

Picking up where the last issue left off: Doctor Octopus is unconscious (or at least defeated) on the ground, Spidey is standing over him, and Hammerhead and his men have just shown up to try and shoot the crap out of them both.

I have a problem with this panel. I recently read that the quality of swiss cheese is determined by the number and size of holes it has, with more/bigger holes being better. So “as fulla holes as a crummy swiss cheese” would be without any holes whatsoever. So…yeah, that crook is dumb.

Right after this Spider-Man punches Hammerhead in the top of the head. It’s pretty cool, but he hurts his hand, commenting that “even with my power heightened by Doc Ock’s harness– that felt like I slammed into a brick wall!”. Pardon me? Did we not just learn last issue, to my infinite annoyance, that the harness was out of batteries or something? That Spider-Man’s strength was not augmented? If stupid-ass Gerry Conway is going to go out of the way to piss me off like that in one issue, it would be nice if he remembered it and stayed consistent in the next.

Hammerhead then shoots Spider-Man in the head. Lucky for Pete, none other than Dr. Octopus comes to his rescue, causing the bullet to simply graze him. To piss Hammerhead off even more, Doc Ock kills some of HH’s goons and declares an all-out gang war. As Ock takes off, Spidey is unconscious and at Hammerhead’s mercy. Since this is a Gerry Conway story, Pete obviously falls into a dream JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER ISSUE THIS GUY WRITES.

On to the Hammerhead origin story: some insane doctor that like to perform human experiments found a mob gunman beaten and near-death in an alley. He brought the man home and replaced his bones with steel. The end. Some other things we learn are that the Kingpin has been arrested in Vegas, leaving the town’s crime scene open for a new leader, and that Doc Ock is living in a house in Westchester with “some old broad”, possibly Aunt May.

Spider-Man ends up heading along to the house with the baddies. He breaks in, but his spider-sense doesn’t alert him to any danger when Aunt May cracks a vase over his head. He passes out…from a vase. Come on. This is Spider-Man and a piece of cheap china has taken him down. Give me a break.

The issue ends with Aunt May summoning Doc Ock to see what she’s done.

This issue was a slightly better than Conway’s normal fare, but I don’t think it was good enough to get up to three stars. So many things annoy me about this guy. Ugh.

Rating:

They Call the Doctor…Octopus!

Doc Ock is back and this issue starts out with a big fight, during which Spidey is unmasked. Luckily, through some quick thinking, he’s able to temporarily blind Ock with some webbing. This gives him enough time to escape with his secret intact. Soon after this close call, though, Pete begins suffering from incredible stomach cramps. He chalks it up to not taking care of himself – constant worry, lack of sleep and food – and heads home to rest it off. Harry and Gwen get Doc Bromwell over, and he diagnoses Peter with nervous exhaustion and an ulcer. The poor kid.

Interesting note on the art – I’m pretty sure that nobody’s ever had nipples in Spidey comics before now. But there they are when Pete takes his shirt off for the doctor, clearly visible. Woot. He doesn’t seem to have a belly button, though.

Octopus’s plan is kind of mysterious, but it somehow involves a ‘Mister H’. This Mister H seems to be some kind of crime boss, and he’s preparing a trap for Octopus. Doc Ock figures it out, though, and shows up fighting. We don’t really see in detail how it turns out, but Dr. Octopus comes out on top.

Later, Ned Leeds gets a lead on where Aunt May might be, so Peter heads off to find her. As Spider-Man, which makes no sense. He even has to steal a new mask from a costume shop, because his got lost in the fight and picked up by Randy Robertson. On his way to find Aunt May Spidey runs into Ock again and they fight some more. Spider-Man is pretty weak, but he manages to find and strap himself into some kind of strength-augmenting harness that Octopus had one of his hoods using. With this new-found advantage Spidey is able to beat Ock. Oh, but what’s this? The harness had actually run out of power! Spider-Man did it all on its own! Oh my gosh how nice! WHAT. THE. EFF. That’s the lamest. Why even include the damn harness in the story then? Ugh I hate trite garbage like that.

After the fight with Doctor Octopus, Mister H shows up. He is Hammerhead, and seems to just want to run the crime in the city. Or something.

The writing in this had some potential, but it Conway kept ruining any momentum he had going. The Mister H stuff with Doc Ock was pretty interesting, and I was digging the mystery, but that got abandoned fairly quickly. Conway focused on Spider-Man’s troubles – his health, his Aunt May, his issues with Doc Ock – even though these were far less interesting than the Hammerhead/Doctor Octopus back story. The writing was also marred by Conway’s hamfisted, melodramatic, over-the-top narration. Thankfully this didn’t appear often, but it was still far more often than I’d like. Then there was that bullshit with the harness…

I would like to give this issue a good rating, but the problems were just too much for me.

Rating:

Spidey Cops Out!

We start with Spidey dropping an unconscious Gibbon off at the hospital, then get two pages of flashback through his life. It’s total filler and really boring.

This issue doesn’t really start until halfway down the fourth page, which just makes me angry. Spider-Man is looking for Aunt May and decides not to get involved with some crimes he sees on the way. He’s pretty selfish, but that’s not too unusual for Peter. Selfish and paranoid, that’s Pete.

This issues sucks, man. It’s all about Aunt May being missing. Can’t the old bird just go on vacation, have some fucking privacy? What the shit. And I have to deal with Conway and his damned “bright eyes” comments.

At the end, working under the assumption that May has been kidnapped, Spidey runs into Doc Ock.

Rating:

To Stalk a Spider!

Stan’s out, so now we have Gerry Conway writing in Amazing. This is crap. I hope to god this doesn’t keep up. PLUS, the mystery guy watching the Gibbon was Kraven. I frigging hate Kraven, and I’m totally not in the mood for a Kraven issue. It’ll be a miracle if this issue gets a good rating from me.

By the way, the Gibbon brings up a good point on the splash page – Kraven is supposed to be dead. The last time we saw him, he was going over a cliff in the Savage Land. The explanation for his survival? “My friend, in time you’ll learn– Kraven dies hard!” I call bullshit. His left arm is in a sling, though, so I guess that’s something.

Whatever, Pete goes to May’s and finds a note addressed to him. She has taken off somewhere and I don’t care. Meanwhile, Kraven gives Gibbon a bunch of tea that makes him into a crazy rage-filled beast-man. Gibbon turns on him, but it doesn’t really go anywhere. Somehow Kraven hypnotizes the Gibbon, and orders him out to kill Spider-Man.

He does.

No, just kidding! He finds Spidey, but ends up getting his ass trounced. THE END.

Rating:

The Birth of…The Gibbon!

Spidey thinks Flash is after Gwen. He probably is, but if I know Gwen – and thanks to dramatic irony, I do – she wouldn’t ditch Peter for ol’ Thompson. While he’s self-pitying, he meets an ugly guy named Marty. Marty looks like a monkey. He’s a nice guy, but he’s gotten a real raw deal all his life on account of his being hideous. Also, the guy’s like crazy agile.

After all this we’re treated to his danged life story, even though it pretty much just spells out what we already learned. It’s all self-narrated in a fashion that would never, ever happen. Who lies in bed narrating their own life story? I hate that cliche. Anyway, it turns out that for awhile he would put on a monkey suit and work in a sideshow. Anyway, at the end of his long internal monologue he comes to some sort of decision. That is the kind of thing you would expect in someone’s thoughts, but it isn’t revealed to us. Whatever.

When Pete gets home from his adventures he’s exhausted and literally passes out in Gwen’s arms. He briefly awakens to see her leaving with Flash, which causes a whole bunch of shitty-yet-awesome nightmares. Poor, stupid Peter. When he wakes up he tries to call Aunt May to gauge how upset she is about Gwen being a bitch to her. When she doesn’t answer, Pete races out to find her.

En route – as Spider-Man – he encounters his new friend Marty in full monkey regalia. He wants to be Spidey’s partner. Spider-Man makes the big mistake of laughing his ass off at this, which sends the Gibbon into a rage. He manages to throw Spider-Man off the side of the building, but Spidey basically just laughs it off again. The issue ends with a mysterious man looking on, watching the Gibbon and his interaction with Spider-Man, and planning some big evil dastardly plot.

The bullshit with Peter and Gwen and Flash is getting really old. I couldn’t care less about that storyline, especially the way it’s being handled. Why the fuck can’t Peter and Gwen just talk about shit like this? If he seriously just asked “what’s up with you and Flash?” the whole thing would be resolved. Sometimes Pete is such a whiney bitch.

On the other hand, the Gibbon has the potential to be a kind of cool character. I’m 100% certain it won’t pan out, but for now I didn’t mind him in this story.

By the way, this is Stan Lee’s last regular issue. END OF AN ERA!!!!1!ZOMG?

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Enter: Dr. Strange!

Flash has been kidnapped, Gwen doesn’t want Peter to run off like a coward, and Pete doesn’t know what to do.

Pete manages to get out, and as he’s looking for Flash he is met by the astral form of Dr. Strange. Strange let’s Spidey see what’s going on with Flash: he’s going to be sacrificed as a way to revive the high priest that sorta-died-but-not-really in the temple. Also there is Sha Shan, the girl that Flash cozied up to, and daughter of that high priest. Even though she knows Flash had nothing to do with the attack, she appears going along with this whole thing. Later, though, she tries to help Flash escape. Spidey and Dr. Strange show up and rescue Flash and revive the old man.

Meanwhile, Gwen goes ballistic on Aunt May. It’s sweet.

Well, this was a little better than the last issue in that the story actually seemed to progress a little. It still didn’t enthrall me, though, and the backstory where Flash was blacked out ended up being pretty boring.

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Vengeance from Vietnam!

This picks up right where 107 left off, which means I need to figure out some placement stuff. I think all those Team-Up issues come after Spider-Man’s fight with the robot, but before he sees Flash get picked up by the cops.

Here’s what happens: the MPs were picking up Flash for his protection. While he was in Vietnam he stumbled upon a hidden ancient temple with wonderful peaceful monks and a chick that he may or may not have gotten freaky with. Later, he found out that the military was going to bomb the temple, and he rushed off to warn his new friends. The warning didn’t take, they all got bombed and presumably died. Now there are a whole whack of worshippers that believe Flash caused the bombing of the temple and are after him for revenge. Despite Spider-Man’s best efforts, they manage to get hold of him by the end of this book.

This issue was not bad, though it all just seemed like setup. Hopefully the story picks up a bit in the next issue(s), because I think it could be interesting. Flash has some amnesia about some things, so the resolution of that could be interesting.

Right before this, one of the Vietnamese guys says something in Chinese. Oh, 1970s.

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Spidey Smashes Thru!

Alright, let’s finish this shit up. I’m getting pretty tired of this fucking Spider Slayer story.

The issue opens with Spider-Man entangled in the Spider Slayer’s webbing. Smythe has also sapped away Spider-Man’s powers using some ethyl chloride gas. Smythe takes Spidey to the gang leaders, and together they begin to orchestrate a bank robbery plan.

Meanwhile, Flash apologizes to Gwen for acting like a dick and sorta admits that he loves her and also that something else is going on with him.

Back with Spidey, Smythe is occupied with his bank robbery, and Spider-Man manages to break free. He disables the robot, contacts the police to have the video spy cameras taken out of commission (since Smythe is using them in the robbery getaway), and heads out to stop the bad guys. When he’s done with them, he goes back for Smythe and finds that the scientist as re-enabled his robot and is guiding/driving it again. Unfortunately for Smythe, Spidey had previously fucked up the controls, and the whole thing goes haywire and dies. Spidey wins.

The issue ends on a really weird note as a car with a military officer (or a cop?) pulls up to Gwen and Flash, and they force Flash back in. According to the teaser, the next issue has him (or someone) going back to Viet Nam. Weird.

Uh, this issue was alright I guess. I dunno. I hate Smythe and the Spider Slayers. It’s a surprisingly boring dynamic. Even Romita’s art couldn’t cheer me up.

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Squash! Goes the Spider!

Ok, we’re now done with the interlude in the middle of Amazing 105, and the events of this issue directly follow the end of that one. This issue also sees the welcome return of John Romita, even if it is only a brief return.

So where were we? Spencer Smythe had just used a bunch of security cameras to discover that Spider-Man is Peter Parker. Furthermore, Spider-Man is being blames for a robbery Smythe committed using his Spider Slayer robot. Here’s what happens now:

• Spidey realizes the camera spotted him, freaks out
• Spidey visits Curt Connors’s lab to make a Peter Parker mask
• As Smythe is watching with a bunch of mob bosses, Pete appears on camera with his Peter mask over his Spider-Man mask; when he removes the Peter mask, everyone believes the view of Peter they got was all a ruse
• Flash Thompson seems to be buggin out – he might be shell shocked
• Smythe goes after Spidey with a new Spider Slayer that’s twice as big and can actually transport the mad roboticist inside
• Smythe captures Spider-Man

The Smythe story is still pretty retarded, but the character stuff with Harry and MJ, Pete and Gwen, and Flash was all pretty good.

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–And Now, The Goblin!

Back in New York, Pete is broke. Harry calls him a jerk and forces him to take Norman Osborn up on his job offer.

Later, Pete is going to see MJ in her new off-broadway show. He runs into Aunt May and Anna Watson on their way to see Hair (ha!). When a cop car screams by, Pete quickly changes into Spidey to follow it and finds some dude on a roof “stoned right out of his mind”! Man this issue’s awesome! The kid, thinking he can fly, leaps off the roof. Spidey is forced to save him and reveal himself in front of a boatload of cops. With the kid safe, the cops look the other way as Spidey takes off.

Returning to the theatre, Pete finds the gang. Much to Harry’s chagrin, MJ starts flirting with Peter right in front of everyone! She keeps this up all night. What a ho. Then Randy shows up and starts flipping out at Norman Osborn about the drug scene and how Osborn has a responsibility because of his money and influence. Awkward! Norman gets all riled up, which is exactly what he’s not supposed to do according to his doctor.

With the show going splendidly, the gang reconvenes at intermission. Suddenly, Norman Osborn breaks into a cold sweat and Peter’s spider sense starts acting up. The whole incident remains a mystery for awhile, but Peter and Osborn’s attention are both focused on a particular door in the theatre. Now, we learned earlier that Osborn used to own the theatre, so we can only suspect that it was perhaps one of his Goblin hideouts.

With everyone cleared out, both Peter and Norman Osborn head back to the theatre to check out the mysterious door of mystery. Osborn beats Spider-Man inside, and by the time Spidey gets there — he has indeed returned to his role as the Green Goblin!

Absolutely fantastic issue. The way Spider-Man caught the falling stoner was great foreshadowing for Gwen’s upcoming death, and MJ’s interest in Peter was a nice hint at the future (even if it was a bit strong). Norman Osborn is always a great character to have around, too. I also love the whole drug thing, which I believe the Comics Code actually didn’t allow – those Marvel guys were getting pretty ballsy I guess, but it was obviously for a good cause. The whole thing was really well written and had some pretty nice art to boot.

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Trap for a Terrorist!

Spider-Man, off to London to get Gwen! Woo!

Peter decides he needs to go to London to see Gwen but, like always, he’s a little strapped for cash. Enter good ol’ Robbie Robertson, who offers to send Peter to London on assignment!

Once Pete’s plane arrives in London, the passengers are told that they are all being held hostage. Pete heads to the bathroom, changes into Spider-Man, and busts right through the wall of the plane to the outside. The terrorists spot him crawling along the outside of the plane, but hesitate long enough for him to kick away the bomb with which they’re threatening the passengers.

Even though the plane as a whole is safe, the terrorists still manage to capture an American delegate and his son, both of whom were passengers. Luckily Spidey is able to place a tracer on their getaway car. After those dudes get away, Spidey has a brief run-in with the cops before taking off.

Eventually Spider-Man finds the kidnap victims and saves them, but not without all of London learning that he’s there. Pete realizes that if he visits Gwen, it’ll be far too easy for her to realize that he is, in fact, Spider-Man. The whole trip is wasted! SADNESS!

Ok, this was alright I guess. There was nothing that really stuck out as bad, but it was a bit boring and they didn’t really make good use of London as a setting in my opinion. It would have been nice if there was actually some Peter/Gwen interaction, but I presume that’ll be coming up shortly. The poor girl only has a few issues left, after all.

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To Stalk the Spider-Man

It Happens in Harlem!
Writer: Stan Lee
Art: John Romita
Letterer: Artie Simek
Originally published: June 1971

Spider-Man features somewhat prominently in this story, and I have no recollection of what’s even going on with him right now. It’s been so long, I had to look back at old issues to see what’s up. I suppose right now everything’s in a limbo – Gwen’s gone and life is sort of going forward as usual?

Basically the Falcon wants to make a bigger name for himself, and when he sees Spider-Man and some cops after him (are they still after him? I’ve lost track – maybe from Stacy’s death still) the Falcon decides to try to bring the webslinger in. When the Falcon’s falcon Redwing leads the hero to Pete’s apartment, Falcon finds Harry Osborn and assumes that he is Spider-Man. Oh noes!

Spider-Man shows up and sets things straight, but then shortly afterwards the Falcon gets himself kidnapped by some mobster named Stoneface. Luckily Spidey had put a tracer on the Falcon, so he’s able to rescue the unconscious hero from the mob’s hideout. When the Falcon wakes up he starts beating on Spidey again, and then his bird and Captain America show up and also start in on the poor guy.

Everyone eventually becomes friends, and then they go after Stoneface together.

Check out this awesome anime-y panel:

I loved the art in the first issue, 137. It didn’t look like how I remember Gene Colan’s work looking, but whatever.

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