The Book of the Vishanti

Despite the title on the cover (and, subsequently, this post), this actually is an Annual for Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 1. I’m not sure why they left out “the amazing” on the cover. It just seems weird.

This book features Dr. Strange and Dr. Doom, neither of whom I’ve read about in awhile. We open in Latveria, at Doom’s castle, where Doom’s assistant Dilby has finally, after 10 years of research, built a magic-science interface. He created a device that either is called or creates or gives him access to something called “the Bend Sinister”. That, my friends, is a cool name. This device transports a person to the dimension of the Dread Dormammu, and Doom sends Dilby on a little trip to said dimension to test the Bend Sinister out. Once there, Dilby is basically existing inside a nightmare. He meets Dormammu.

Later, Doom is hanging out in his castle watching Nazi movies, “to learn from them”. Ok. Dormammu interrupts him with news that Dilby has some new powers and is building magic robots with them, or something like that. I’m not exactly sure why, but Doom and Dormammu seem to have some sort of plan.

Some time passes I guess and we check in on New York City, where Dr. Strange is chilling out with a book. His studies are interrupted by the delivery of a mysterious, huge, glowing crate. Inside is one of those magic robots that Dilby was building, and Doc Strange accidentally activates it using his Eye of Agamotto. It turns out it’s a killer magic robot. The robot beats the snot out of Wong and Strange.

With little hope of defeating the killer magic robot, Strange ditches his body and takes his astral form out to look for help. This seems like a really good plan, except that there’s a whole bunch of astral demons outside his house, and they proceed to beat up his astral body! Dude can’t catch a break. Strange can’t ditch this and leave in an astral astral body (I assume), so his only recourse is to send out what he calls “a psychic flare”.

Now, this being a Spider-Man comic, the flare is naturally observed, though rather circuitously, by Peter Parker. Pete finds a reason to ditch the first-year chem class he’s teaching and heads out to Doc Strange’s rescue. He finds just enough time to break a date with Deb Whitman, though, because that’s how Peter rolls. Pete eventually arrives at Strange’s Sanctum, fights off a couple gargoyles, and shoots webbing right into the face of one of Dr. Strange’s neighbours (what a dick), and finally he also fights off some weird yellow demons. This bit had some decent action. Spidey finally makes his way inside. He finds Wong, who tells him that Dr. Strange has been abducted.

Meanwhile, Doc Strange is tussled up under the command of Dilby. It turns out creating the Bend Sinister requires a human sacrifice; that sacrifice is to be Strange.

This is where things get stupid. For some reason (lame gimmick writing) Dilby is holding Strange a CBGB, the punk club. When Pete arrives there, Dilby somehow manages to brainwash everybody, including the band Shrapnel, into marching around and chanting “Bend Sinister”. I guess that’s part of the ritual to create the Bend Sinister? The parade of people grows as they pass through different parts of Manhattan, until the whole crew ends up in Central Park. Then there’s a lot of business about the moon and a huge crystal and eldritch this and darkling that.

Spidey goes in for the attack, fights killer magic robot, and ends up smashing the robot into the giant evil crystal. That pretty much saves the day!

There are some totally sweet panels in this. I don’t totally understand the credits on the issue, but I assume it was penciled by Frank Miller. A lot of it looks awesome. The issue had good pacing and had me interested up until the last act or so. Overall it was still good, I just wish the ending had been tighter.

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And Machine Man Makes 3

I liked Machine Man in the MTU Annual I just read, so I was excited about this team-up between him and Spidey, fighting Baron Brimstone and Sandman. By the way, I don’t know if Sandman’s costume will ever change again, but I certainly hope so. His current costume is sooooo bad.

Baron Brimstone breaks himself and the Sandman out of prison. Brimstone has a vendetta against Machine Man, and he’s bringing Sandman along for the ride. When Peter Parker hears of the prison escape, he involves himself. From there this takes a very stale, very predictable course for Marvel Team-Up: Spidey and Machine Man encounter each other; fight for no reason, allowing the bad guys to escape; put aside their differences and team-up; and finally, beat the bad guy and save the girl. So many issues of Team-Up play out exactly like this (including the Annual I just read, though at least that was a little longer and more interesting).

So, unfortunately, the good times with Machine Man that I was hoping for ended up fairly stale. Ho hum.

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Come Into My Parlor — Said The Fly!

Note: I read this in the wrong spot. It should come before Rupert Dockery goes to New York, so between Spider-Woman 29 and Amazing Spider-Man 208.

Action right off the bat! As Spider-Woman is talking to one Dr. Pederson about the possibility of curing Scotty McDowell, the Fly crashes into the lab. Yes, this is the same Fly that Spider-Man has fought before. He just swoops in and clocks Spider-Woman. It’s pretty brazen and cool. After receiving one of S-W’s venom blasts, he takes a powder. It’s unclear what he wanted, but he certainly screwed up the lab and in the process messed up Scotty’s cryogenic chamber. Spider-Woman fixes it basically by bashing it up more.

Later, we learn that Spider-Woman still has theft charges against her from hooking up with the Enforcer.

Also later, Rupert Dockery is about to accept his National Press Award when he is visited by an angry Enforcer. I thought that guy was in prison… Well, he knows all about Dockery’s earlier machinations and manipulations and he’s none too impressed. When Dockery cops to the whole thing, it is revealed that “the Enforcer” who visited him is actually Spider-Woman, and that the whole encounter was a set-up organized by her and Captain Walsh, in order to clear Spider-Woman’s name. Walsh sticks it Dockery and basically orders him out of town.

Meanwhile the Fly is being seen to by a creepazoid doctor, Dr. Malus. Malus (re-)warns the Fly that his powers are weakening and that the only way to restore them is for Malus to transfer some other super-human’s powers to him. Their choice? Spider-Woman, of course. That is why the Fly was at the hospital earlier, tangling with Spider-Woman.

The Fly goes out to finder Spider-Woman again, and forces a meeting by wrecking some streets up and putting innocent bystanders at risk. The Fly’s plan, it seems, is to take another venom blast. He does, then splits, but not before Spider-Woman rips some contraption off his arm.

A few days pass. We learn that Malus had installed what were basically batteries on the Fly’s arms — on of which Spider-Woman got — to absorb the venom blast’s energy. Learning from said energy, he learns about Spider-Woman’s limitation of one venom blast at a time, and her need for recharging it. I don’t really know if that’s super relevant.

That night, the Fly returns to the hospital and kidnaps Scotty from right in front of poor Dr. Pederson. However, it turns out Dr. Pederson was actually Spider-Woman in disguise. The disguise thing is getting ridiculous. It’s like Scooby Doo up in this series. Spider-Woman follows the Fly back to Malus’s lab, they fight, Somehow Spider-Woman deduces their plan, which, to be honest, is not clear or obvious at all. That’s cheap writing.

I was actually digging the issue up until this point, but it just gets filled up with a lot of needless weird exposition, which really slows down what should be an exciting encounter. When Malus is cornered he admits that he’s the one that created the Enforcer’s darts, and he offers to help cure Scotty in exchange for nothing… after saving Scotty he readily agrees to go to prison with the Fly. That’s just odd. But Scotty’s back to normal, so that’s good?

I really liked the first 3/4 of this issue, or maybe 2/3, and then it totally fell apart. The climax seemed rushed and uninteresting, the writing got sloppy, and the whole thing just ended up fizzling into yet another non-sensical snoozefest.

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Vengeance is Mine–Sayeth the Sword!

For continuity purposes I’ve split this issue up and thrown a whole mess of comics in the middle. This is the first part (up to the end of the 5th page of comic, which is numbered as ’7′).

It’s midnight, and our friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man is checking out what appears to be a robbery at the waterfront. Just as he’s about to intervene, a masked figure with a sword descends and takes out the thieves for him. It’s Raper! He’s pretty suave. Spidey, recognizing that he may be outclassed, decides to help out a little.

Once they’re done cleaning up the mess, Spidey and Rapier exchange some pleasantries, and both are off…

Split like this, it’s just a short and sweet encounter, and definitely piques my interest for later.

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In the Hands of Bullseye

This being a Daredevil comic, I really have no idea what’s going on. The issue starts with an epilogue to (I assume) the previous issue, which I have not read. Then the story begins, and I really don’t care about most of it.

Here’s the skinny for my purposes: some crap is happening, and while it’s happening, Peter and Mary-Jane walk by in one panel. Matt Murdock is jealous of them.

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So Bright This Star

Well, my enchantment with the Dazzler is over. This issue was pretty terrible. I hate when debuts (or any issue really) is just filled to the brim with lame guest cameos, as a thinly-veiled attempt to draw in new readers. I guess it works — Spider-Man’s appearance is, afterall, why I’m reading this trash — but that doesn’t excuse it.

The issue fails on so many levels. First, Dazzler’s power seems to have gotten lamer since her appearance in Amazing Spider-Man. Instead of creating some kind of powerful light beams, she now creates silly light patterns in the air that simply befuddle her opponents. She also doesn’t seem to use her magic disco ball anymore, which is a total shame.

The structure of the issue is also a complete mess. The issue hops around from Dazzler to Spidey to the X-Men to a lame origin flashback to Asgard to the Avengers and back. It’s all a bunch of roundabout nonsense that leaves the reader as disoriented as the Dazzler’s victims.

Finally, the character herself is just completely uninteresting and unsympathetic. It’s fairly clear DeFalco doesn’t have any idea what to do with her, and it’s pretty telling that she only appears on of 15 out of 23 pages in her own debut title. The issue should be jam-packed full of Dazzler awesomeness, giving us an exiting taste of the character and the direction of the book. Instead we get weak filler.

(Also: Spider-Man makes a comment about getting photos for the Bugle. Potential problem in placement?)

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Man-Hunt!

Apparently J. Jonah Jameson has had a nervous breakdown. Neat. This issue is mostly about Spidey and the Punisher going after some mob guy, and the Punisher suspecting that Peter Parker is up to something. There’s no resolution really, the story is continued in the next issue.

This might be in the wrong spot? Pete runs into MJ and says he hasn’t seen her in months. He just saw her in Spec 38 or something I think though. So that’s weird. Probably just a topical reference to the fact that she hasn’t appeared in ASM for months — at least, that’s what the Official Index claims.

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Into the Heart of Darkness!

Finally, a halfway decent issue that managed to keep my attention! Spider-Woman teams up with the Shroud to fight a group of murdering cultists. This issue had action, decent pacing, and some lines that were almost funny. Crazy!

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Murder in Cathedral Canyon!

Well…this thing says it’s the Fourth of July, but once again I think it’ll have to be ignored. I will assume that’s a metaphor, since Pete is kissing Cissy and Fireworks are metaphorically going off (though they are shown on-panel).

Pretty good epic anti-bomb, anti-armament story. I quite liked it.

So Cissy Ironwood’s dad gets killed here, and Spider-Man is powerless to stop it. What the hell’s with Peter’s girlfriends’ dads getting killed?

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Story of the Year!

The Guardians of the Galaxy seem interesting, but they weren’t used very well. This was a done-in-one that was basically an extended fight.

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Now You See Me! Now You Die!

Another boring Mysterio issue. I am curious what hidden treasure in the Parker home Mysterio and the Burglar are after, but mostly I just want this story to wrap up.

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The Kingpin’s Midnight Massacre!

Other than a brief Daily Bugle interlude, this whole issue is a fight in which the Kingpin kicks the crap out of Spidey. The only reason Spider-Man is alive at the end is because Kingpin chooses the love of his wife over vengeance against Spider-Man.

It was alright, I guess, but the fighting got kind of boring after awhile.

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A Zoo Story

The first half of this actually have to take place immediately after Spectacular 31. There is a break, though — of “hours”, but we can pretend it says “days” or “weeks” — and then the rest fits in with where I currently am in the timeline.

In Peter’s interactions with Curt Connors it’s made clear that they don’t know each other (when Pete’s out of costume, that is). I was pretty sure, though, that they had met and were on friendly terms even in Pete’s civilian guise. Was I wrong, or is Mantlo wrong?

In this issue Pete finally starts grad school, which is cool fun times. The story was a bit dry, though.

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If I’m to Live…My Love Must Die!

Another boring Claremont issue that is basically two simultaneous long fights. I’m glad I’m done with this particular story.

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Spider-Man Night Fever

Oh jeez, Spidey goes to the disco and fights a bad guy named the Hypno-Hustler. Give me a break.

Frank Springer’s art is weak.

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Guess Who’s Buried in Grant’s Tomb!

Aw, man, I was hoping Zeck would be on this title permanently, or at least for awhile. Looks like we’re back with the regulars, though, and it just doesn’t look as good.

MJ is trying to date other guys, but the one she goes out with is a dork. Betty misses Ned. The White Tiger and Holly pine after each other. The A-plot is boring.

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…Like a Diamond in the Sky!

This issue had Thor and Iron Man fighting a giant orbiting evil computer. It was really bad. Spidey appeared in one of those “what’s happening with the rest of the world” panels.

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Hell is the Hangman!

Briefly back to Spider-Woman!

Man, between the Brothers Grimm and the Hangman, this issue was pretty dark and creepy.

Everybody’s always calling Spider-Woman “woman” like it’s some kind of insult. This is something that happens fairly regularly in comics, but it’s really noticeable here, and really annoying. There’s also some more cheesecake shots in this issue, as well as some fairly bondagey scenes with Spider-Woman tied up in the Hangman’s ropes. I didn’t like the sexism and violence in that Spider-Woman: Origin book, but I see it has its roots back in this older series… I know the Hangman is supposed to be a creep, but some of it was just too much.

Maybe I’m just feeling whiney, but it irked me.

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Still Crazy After All These Years

MJ is totally sending Peter some mixed messages, but she still doesn’t want to marry him.

As far as bad guys go, the Scorpion re-emerges, ostensibly stronger and faster than ever. Spidey’s pissed and fed up, though, and just smashes the crap out of him. It’s really cool to see, and Scorpion’s demasking at the end was awesome.

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My Friend, My Foe!

The resolution to this whole thing was fairly unsatisfying. In the end, though, Bobby Drake is back to normal and the real bad guy is defeated. At the end there are some epiloguey pages with White Tiger going to ESU (booo) and somebody mysterious and powerful breaking out of prison. Perhaps Electro?

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The Final Rage!

Cool cover homage to the classic Ditko art in ASM 33.

Everything is wrapped up in a neat little package, with the Man-Beast seemingly destroyed and Sha-Shan and Bobby Sue saved. Awesome arc!

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…A Future Uncertain!

A few weeks have passed since Marvel Two-in-One 29, and Jessica Drew is trying to make a life for herself in London. She’s having trouble finding a job, though, and some trouble with the cops.

This was mostly a recap of Spider-Woman’s origins, and a lot of exposition about her mental state. It was ok, but kind of boring since I’ve already seen so much of it.

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Who Was That Goblin I Saw You With?

Wow, Harry suits up as the Green Goblin again, to take out the new Goblin — his psychiatrist, Dr. Barton Hamilton! Barton ends up blowing himself up, and Harry (of course) ends up with some kind of limited amnesia. Liz Allen’s return completes the happy ending.

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Green Grows the Goblin!

Spidey continues to tangle with the Goblin while his Aunt May needs him in the hospital! Oh, the drama!

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He Who Laughs Last…!

This issue picks up right after the end of the last, with Spidey bringing JJJ back to safety. The next morning, Aunt May has a heart attack while fighting a cop.

Later, the Green Goblin finally makes his appearance, and the issue ends with him tossing Flash Thompson out of a window. Len Wein wants me to think the Goblin is Harry Osborn, but I suspect otherwise…

This issue was really good, and got back to a lot of the personal lives of the characters, and more interesting back-story stuff.

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