A Night on the Prowl!

Double Defeat!
Writer: Roger Stern
Penciler: Marie Severin
Inker: Bruce Patterson
Letterer: Rick Parker
Colorist: Ben Sean
Originally published: November 1980

Pete’s enjoying a cup of joe at a local pub (on a date with Deb Whitman) when a news report comes on claiming that Spider-Man has been involved in a series of break-ins that have led to a death. “Oh, no!” says he.

Turns out the break-ins have all been against people in the fashion business. Can we see where this is headed? Yes. Do we like it? No. The robber doesn’t sound like Spidey, despite what the victims claim, but Pete has a hunch that it may be — the Prowler! But Hobie Brown’s gone legit, so that doesn’t make much sense. Spidey pays him a visit and they discover that his Prowler gear has been stolen! Spidey goes looking for the new Prowler.

Meanwhile, we see what this Prowler has been up to — consorting with none other than Belladonna, as expected. It turns out the new Prowler is the former Cat Burglar, and he’s been hired by Belladonna to knock over these fashion designers. But to what end?!

The next day, Spidey and the new Prowler finally meet up, with Prowler leading Spidey into a well-orchestrated trap. Unfortunately for the Prowler, it snares him too. Belladonna ends up with both guys locked in an air-tight room, and starts pumping in the gas. Can they escape? Probably, yes.

In the next issue, things are looking grim for Spider-Man and the new Prowler. BUT THEN THEY GET OUT! And Spidey has the Prowler arrested. But, there’s still Belladonna to deal with. Also, the Prowler gets away later.

JJJ gives Peter a ring, Pete and Deb have some more bonding time, Pete’s stuffed beardog burns down, Aunt May and Peter have some chitchat: good times all around.

Eventually we all learn the Belladonna is really Narda Ravanna, a bitter fashion/cosmetics maven out for revenge. OK. Eventually, everything comes to a head and everyone goes off to jail. Hurray!

I liked this story, actually. It was fun and had good pacing. Well-done.

Rating:

The Vengeance Gambit!

Wings of Fire, Wings of Fear
Writer: Roger Stern
Penciler: Marie Severin
Inker: Steve Mitchell
Letterer: Michael Higgins
Colorist: Glynis Wein
Originally published: August 1980

Winter in New York. Spidey is swinging about NYC and witnesses an important-looking funeral procession. What Spidey doesn’t realize is that it’s a mob (or some kind of gang) funeral. At the funeral, this one jerk who is in charge — Malachai — is mouthing off about how his uncle is taking over the city’s crime scene, and how the dead guy shouldn’t have listened to the uncle, and how the uncle is now giving all these other gangsters a chance to prove themselves by stealing certain things.

The next day one of these hoods, a Harry Dolenz, is in Chinatown to try to get the item requested of him. It’s Chinese New Year. He gets killed. At the same time Spidey has been swinging around taking pictures of the New Year celebrations for the Globe. When he gets home, he doesn’t discover that he inadvertently captured the dude’s murder on film, but we do. The next morning he turns them into Barney Bushkin and they eventually notice that shot.

Ok…then basically some uninteresting gang struggle stuff happens for a bit, some of which involves Spidey. Eventually we find out that the Vulture — Adrian Toomes — is behind everything. He’s Malachai’s uncle. Spidey shows up to the funeral home (I think?) where the baddies are all holding out, but he ends up getting chained down inside a coffin that’s heading towards cremation.

CLIFFHANGER!

The next issue begins with Spidey again en route to a firey demise. He, of course, gets out in pretty short order. He gets the toughs, but the Vulture and Malachai escape. Ah, but so did Black Alfred, a gangster with ambition, and he’s none too happy with the Vulture. Alfred shoots at the old man, but Malachai jumps in the path of the bullet. Vulture wails on Black Alfred like crazy, but then Spidey shows up again and stops Vulture from killing the guy. When the cops show up, the Vulture takes off again and Spider-Man pursues.

Mid-air fight! They wind up crashing through some windows into Grand Central Station. Vulture ends up taking himself out by flying hard into a glass panel. So Spidey kinda wins I guess?

These issues were kinda dry and boring. Not terrible for any specific reason, but they just really didn’t hold my interest.

Rating:

In the Hands of Bullseye

This being a Daredevil comic, I really have no idea what’s going on. The issue starts with an epilogue to (I assume) the previous issue, which I have not read. Then the story begins, and I really don’t care about most of it.

Here’s the skinny for my purposes: some crap is happening, and while it’s happening, Peter and Mary-Jane walk by in one panel. Matt Murdock is jealous of them.

Rating:

Beware the Spider-Woman — Bounty Hunter!

Bring on… the Clown!
Script: Michael Fleisher
Pencils: Frank Springer
Inks: Mike Esposito
Letters: C. Robins
Colors: B. Sean
Originally published: January 1980

Enter the Gamesman
Script: Michael Fleischer
Artists: Trevor von Eedon, Mike Esposito
Letters: Robins
Colors: Gafford
Originally published: February 1980

Trapped–in the Doomsday Room!
Script: Michael Fleisher
Art: Trevor von Eedon, Mike Esposito
Letters: Jim Novak
Colors: Glynis Wein
Originally published: March 1980

To Free a Felon!
Script by: Michael Fleisher
Art by: Steve Leialoha
Letters by: Diana Albers
Colors: Glynis Wein
Originally published: April 1980

The Blades of the Grinder!
Script: Michael Fleisher
Art: S. Leialoha, M. Esposito & Associates
Colors: Gaff
Letters: Novak
Originally published: May 1980

I needed to read six issues of Spider-Woman. For the first five of these I’m pretty iffy on placement; the sixth also has Spider-Man in it, so I was pretty sure where it had to go. I decided to just read and review them all in one big bang.

So… I haven’t read any of these comics in about a year. I do not remember much about what was going on with Spider-Woman in her book, except that I remember not liking it and thinking it was full of weird pervy rape fantasies…OK, I just reread some of my last few posts on Spider-Woman and it seems like my memories are pretty much correct. I guess the last one I read involved Spider-Man and Spider-Woman meeting, so that’s something. Luckily, I also put a bit of a recap of what’s been going on in there.

When we last left Jessica Drew, she was about to embark on a new chapter of her life. Basically jobless and homeless, she was given a second chance by Spider-Man. Now (apparently a few weeks later), we open on her life having “changed suddenly and drastically, and never again will it be the same.”

Issue 21 actually starts out interesting, with a robbery and the revelation that JD is working undercover nearby, ostensibly to catch the thieves. It turns out Jess is making a living as a bounty hunter, working with a guy named Scotty McDowell. Just by capturing the jerks involved in that one heist, she made a cool twenty grand. Not bad work if you can get it, I guess. It makes my wonder how Pete Parker is always so broke. Stupid moral high ground doesn’t pay, I guess.

In addition to the new-found riches, we also learn that Jess has somehow inherited (I think?) a costume shop, and is living in a new place by herself. So she’s got that going for her, too.

OK, so this issue wasn’t bad at all. It did still involve Jessica getting naked, but I guess that’s just how this book rolls. At least it was in a fairly innocent manner this time — a shower after a long night — and not something lurid and sexed up. Not that lurid and sexed up is bad per se, but… I don’t know, this book certainly never seemed to do it right. ANYWAY WHATEVER.

It ends on a weird note with Scotty having dinner with Jess and pining after Spider-Woman. I can’t tell if he knows they’re one and the same.

ONWARDS TO ISSUE 22!

This issue starts off with a welcome piece of news: Jess is not just crime-fighting for the money. Her and Scotty — who figures shit out behind the scenes, and does research/analysis — decide to go after a serial-killing clown for which no reward is posted. Money and moral high ground! Best of both worlds!

(BTW… So far, Scotty’s character definitely brings to mind DC Comics’ Oracle: both are disabled crimefighters with computer/technical expertise, who provide valuable information to their superhero pals. Also, it’s hard to think of serial-killing clowns without thinking of the Joker. Especially when one of the victims in this comic says “What the heck are you, anyway? Some kinda Joker?!”. This Spider-Woman stuff was written years before The Killing Joke and Barbara Gordon’s transformation into Oracle. I’m definitely not implying anybody copied anybody, I just think the similarities, though slight, are interesting. COINCIDENCE CITY, USA.)

The issue follows Spider-Woman and the Killer Clown as their paths cross a few times — including a clown attack on JD’s friend Lindsay. Clown serial killers have the potential to be super scary, but this one ended up being more on the pathetic side. I would have preferred a little more creepiness. Also, the clown is a total woman-hater, and we end up with lines like “My wife thwarted me! Women thwarted me! Women destroyed me, as I shall destroy you!”. In isolation — fine, a woman-hating villain, no biggy. However, this totally fits in with the rest of the misogynistic vibe this comic has had for its entire run, and it really derails the whole thing for me. I guess it’s good that Spider-Woman usually triumphs over shit like this?

The end of this issue felt entirely rushed, but by that point I was glad to see it end.

In the beginning of issue 23, Spider-Woman gets called a bimbo by the chief of police and has some street toughs attack her so she can “show [them] all a good time”. She is unable to actually successfully fight off these common thugs, but luckily a (non-super-powered) man shows up to save her. And get this: the dude’s name is Mr. Braverman. Spider-Woman rewards the Brave Man for his brave manliness with a date and some french kissing. Stay classy, Fleisher.

Well, it turns out Tim Braverman is actually the Gamesman, a criminal matermind who has recently been a problem in LA, and who Spider-Woman and Scotty had been after. Tim hired the goons to attack Spider-Woman, and he set up the rescue to get close to her. Scotty, jealous genius that he is, figures this all out but insta-love-struck Spider-Woman ignores him and gets herself into a whole heap of trouble. Luckily good old Scotty and his six-shooter bust onto the scene in time to save the day!

But — even after Tim/The Gamesman dupes Spider-Woman, has her stun-gunned, ties her up to a pole, and lights the building she’s in on fire — even after that, Spider-Woman still thinks he’s a swell guy and makes out with him for a bit. Meanwhile, poor Scotty (who actually saved her and actually is a swell guy) gets rejected. Ain’t that always the way?

When issue 24 starts up, Tim is in jail and Spider-Woman is visiting him. Tim goes on to explain about his shitty upbringing and why he turned to a life of crime. (IT’S CAUSE HIS DAD WAS MEAN, YO.) Then he plays up how much he loves Spider-Woman and begs for her help in getting him out. Stupid idiot that she is, she goes along with it. I guess I should cut her some slack. I keep forgetting that mentally she’s actually quite young and naive, which might explain why she’s so easy to manipulate. And a shitty crimefighter.

Later, Spider-Woman gets ambushed and shot. There’s now a new Gamesman and he is after her. You see, the new Gamesman thinks Spider-Woman knows the whereabouts of the old Gamesman’s $10 million. But she doesn’t. So, he sets her up in an insanely convoluted death trap and leaves her alone without actually verifying that she’s died. Such a damned cliché. Dumb issue.

Issue 25 opens immediately following the end of 24, and Spider-Woman is in deep trouble. OF A DEADLY NATURE. The setup is thus: Jessica is chained to a stripper pole in the middle of a metal room. The floor, walls, ceiling and door of the room are electrified, and touching them will kill her. There is a bomb at the top of the stripper pole that will explode in one minute that will also kill her.

Spider-Woman escapes thusly: She notices that the door has a glass panel that is not electrified and that she could probably fit through. She climbs up her stripper pole to near the top, and snaps off the bottom of the pole. She then leaps off the top stub, using the snapped off pole as a pole vault thingy, and lunges towards the glass. She manages to smash all the way through it without actually touching any of the metal.

Since the new Gamesman foolishly assumes Spider-Woman is dead, he makes a fake Spider-Woman that he uses to bust the original Gamesman out of jail, in an attempt to find out where that $10 million is. Meanwhile, Jessica Drew lounges around her apartment in sexy lingerie and bathrobes. ZOMG THE FAKE SPIDER-WOMAN IS ACTUALLY JESS’S ACTRESS FRIEND LINDSAY MCCABE! When Lindsay inadvertently drops some hints to Jess, Jess is able to figure it all out and eventually save everyone. (Except the bad guys, they go to jail.)

Steve Leialoha’s art in this issue is really sucky, BTW. Lindsay McCabe, especially, looks like she’s a had a really bad collagen injection in her lips. And her eyes are crazy.

Finally we reach issue 26, in which Spider-Man briefly appears. The issue starts with Spider-Woman hanging out at the LA port, going after some hoods — The Desmond Boys — stealing a fur shipment. She gets them.

Meanwhile we’re introduced to Rupert Dockery, who has purchased the Los Angeles Courier newspaper. The guy is a creep. He almost gets fake kidnapped, but then Spider-Woman shows up and saves him. Dockery writes up the incident in his new newspaper, and I guess the story gets picked up by the wires or something, because next we see Spider-Man reading about it in New York. CAMEO OVER.

Dockery realizes that Spider-Woman sells papers, so he organizes a crime spree, turning a goon named Brute Bashby into a villain named the Grinder. Grinder then publicly challenges Spider-Woman and she goes after the guy. Bingo bango, there are your newspaper sales. They fight, she wins, Dockery is a douche, the end.

Whew! That was a lot of Spider-Woman! Lots of dumb clichés, lots of dumb plot holes, lots of unrealistic and out of character behaviour, occasionally shitty art, misogyny — and still an improvement over the older issues (or at least how I remember them). I’m glad to be done with these for a short bit.

I love the word “presently”, but Michael Fleisher uses it way too much.

Rating:

Sword of the She-Devil

In this issue, some creep named Kulan Gath possesses the body of a museum security guard and Red Sonja possesses the body of Mary-Jane Watson. You know, because they both have red hair. It’s really terrible, and clearly just a ploy to sell Red Sonja comics to Spidey fans (although I guess that’s kinda the point of Team-Up as a whole).

So, this takes place December 22, before the new school year and while Pete is still working at the Globe. That makes it especially strange that he is at the Bugle Christmas party, that Jameson gave him a bonus, and that he got sent on assignment. However, it’s not crazy, as he still has lots of friends at the Bugle, did work there for part of the year thus perhaps earning a bonus, and is freelance so still able to take the assignment when nobody else was able. An annoying little chronological glitch, but not the end of the world.

Oh, you know what else is weird? Clark Kent is at the Bugle Christmas Party.

Rating:

So Bright This Star

Well, my enchantment with the Dazzler is over. This issue was pretty terrible. I hate when debuts (or any issue really) is just filled to the brim with lame guest cameos, as a thinly-veiled attempt to draw in new readers. I guess it works — Spider-Man’s appearance is, afterall, why I’m reading this trash — but that doesn’t excuse it.

The issue fails on so many levels. First, Dazzler’s power seems to have gotten lamer since her appearance in Amazing Spider-Man. Instead of creating some kind of powerful light beams, she now creates silly light patterns in the air that simply befuddle her opponents. She also doesn’t seem to use her magic disco ball anymore, which is a total shame.

The structure of the issue is also a complete mess. The issue hops around from Dazzler to Spidey to the X-Men to a lame origin flashback to Asgard to the Avengers and back. It’s all a bunch of roundabout nonsense that leaves the reader as disoriented as the Dazzler’s victims.

Finally, the character herself is just completely uninteresting and unsympathetic. It’s fairly clear DeFalco doesn’t have any idea what to do with her, and it’s pretty telling that she only appears on of 15 out of 23 pages in her own debut title. The issue should be jam-packed full of Dazzler awesomeness, giving us an exiting taste of the character and the direction of the book. Instead we get weak filler.

(Also: Spider-Man makes a comment about getting photos for the Bugle. Potential problem in placement?)

Rating:

The Arms of Doctor Octopus

This was an awesome issue. Really great story. Seriously cool art in here, too. Kudos to everyone involved.

Rating:

Dark Phoenix

Child of Light and Darkness!
Writer: Chris Claremont
Plotters: Chris Claremont, John Byrne
Penciler: John Byrne
Inker: Terry Austin
Letterer: Tom Orzechowski
Colorist: Bob Sharen
Originally published: August 1980

The Fate of the Phoenix
Writer: Chris Claremont
Plotters: Chris Claremont, John Byrne
Penciler: John Byrne
Inker: Terry Austin
Letterer: Tom Orzechowski
Colorist: Glynis Wein
Originally published: September 1980

Elegy
Writer: Chris Claremont
Plotters: Chris Claremont, John Byrne
Penciler: John Byrne
Inker: Terry Austin
Letterer: Tom Orzechowski
Colorist: Glynis Wein
Originally published: October 1980

The Dark Phoenix Saga, plus one. Spidey appears very briefly in X-Men 135 and as a kind of out-of-context floating-person kinda thing in 138 (which should probably be excluded).

This was quite good, I’m glad I read it.

Rating:

July 4, 1978…

This was all kinds of terrible. One of the worst comics I’ve had so far. Since it’s the 4th of July here, it’s also in the wrong spot.

I don’t know which Brother Grimm appeared, so the tagging is just a guess.

Rating:

The Razor’s Edge!

The Black Panther is framed in a pretty straightforward (and unimaginative) political “thriller”. At the end we find out the oil company is behind it! Also, Springer’s inks really stink here.

I’m getting pretty sick of Team-Up over here. Ugh.

Rating:

“Listen–Stop Me if You’ve Heard it–But This One Will Kill You!”

Timing on this one is weird — the narration says that it’s spring, and Spidey mentions paying his income taxes the day before. According to everything else, though, it’s fall, so these are going to just have to be “topical references” — it’s probably just nice weather, and Pete maybe paid his taxes late.

Even though we don’t see her here, we get the first mention of Cissy Ironwood.

John Byrne drew Storm’s nipples. Some of the comics seem to be getting more “adult” recently. I’m all for adult themes and realism, but I don’t think those are equivalent with over-sexed drawings.

In this issue, Arcade is back and after the X-Men. Spidey finds out about it and tries to warn them, but he’s too late. Then I guess he just gives up, because we don’t seem him again for the rest of the issue.

This story was really not much different than the last Arcade issue, and didn’t really offer anything new.

Cool ad for Star Wars toys featuring Swedish rogue, Hans Solo:

Rating:

The Spider and the Burglar…A Sequel

Well, this is a big one! 200 issues of Amazing Spider-Man! Woo. A note on the splash says that Stan Lee wrote one page of the issue, which is pretty cool I guess. (I’m guessing it’s page 15.)

This was an awesome, epic, issue. Having Pete face off against the burglar again, and having him confront all his old fears, angers, anxieties was a welcome shot of adrenaline into the character. Pete’s been so morose lately, that it was nice to see everything come together for him in the end.

Rating:

Mysterio is Deadlier by the Dozen!

Except for JJJ having a nervous breakdown (or heart attack?), this was a fairly boring issue.

Rating:

24 Hours till Doomsday!

This issue brought a surprise return of the Fly! I love that guy! He makes a mess of things as JJJ and Spidey tool around town trying to get Spencer Smythe’s bomb off their arms. Since Spidey is pre-occupied with not exploding he happens to miss not only a very important photography assignment, but also his last-shot date with Mary Jane.

This was an amazing issue. The whole bomb thing played out beautifully, with plenty of tension and boatloads of friction between Spidey and JJJ. I loved that Jonah had the opportunity to peek under Spidey’s mask, but instead took the high road and did the right thing.

Rating:

There’s One Iron Man Too Many!

…And a Child Shall Slay Them!
Writer: Marv Wolfman
Illustrators: Keith Pollard, Joe Sinnott
Letters: Costanza
Colors: G. Wein
Originally published: February 1979

The Andromeda Attack!
Writer: Marv Wolfman
Illustrators: Keith Pollard, Joe Sinnott
Letterer: Jim Novak
Colorist: Francoise M.
Originally published: March 1979

Spidey’s unconscious from the Man-Wolf attack, so we’ll have a brief stopover with the Fantastic Four before rejoining him. First, the Fantastic Four battle Quasimodo and an evil duplicate of Iron Man. Next, the Fantastic Four fight evil duplicates of themselves. Finally, in 204, The FF deal with some Skrull stuff and Johnny Storm gets bamboozled by a fake university.

Spidey appears in a flashback in FF 202 and has a real appearance in FF 204, as a cut-away to a fight with the Man-Wolf in ASM 190. I’m reading 203 because it comes in between those! FF 202 and 203 should come before ASM 187, by the way.

Rating:

Mayhem by Moonlight!

Betty kisses the crap out of Peter in this issue. They probably have pop-pop in the attic after that. BUT PETER ISN’T EVEN INTERESTED IN BETTY. Boy, does our hero have girl troubles.

This was a pretty nice issue with a good pace. Having the Man-Wolf back makes sense, and I think the whole Jameson vs. his son thing could be interesting, even if it’s ground that’s been tread before.

Rating:

…Like a Diamond in the Sky!

This issue had Thor and Iron Man fighting a giant orbiting evil computer. It was really bad. Spidey appeared in one of those “what’s happening with the rest of the world” panels.

Rating:

White Dragon! Red Death!

Holy calamity, everything’s going down the shitter — Betty Brant left Ned! And now, she’s after dear ol’ recently-dumped Petey.

In other news, apparently John Jameson is ill and in cryogenic stasis. That’s weird.

The issue ends with Spider-Man boiling to death in a vat of burning oil. Good stuff!

Rating:

The Rocket Racer’s Back in Town!

Finally we see MJ again, who apparently just lives in the hospital with Aunt May. We also learn that Spider-Man’s webbing has been getting weaker, which is interesting. Generally speaking, this issue was fairly boring.

EXCEPT THAT PETER PROPOSES TO MJ OMGZOZR!!11!

If not for that, this issue would get a 2. However, a proposal is a big deal, so it gets bumped up a whole 1.5 stars/spiders.

Rating:

…A Future Uncertain!

A few weeks have passed since Marvel Two-in-One 29, and Jessica Drew is trying to make a life for herself in London. She’s having trouble finding a job, though, and some trouble with the cops.

This was mostly a recap of Spider-Woman’s origins, and a lot of exposition about her mental state. It was ok, but kind of boring since I’ve already seen so much of it.

Rating:

Who Was That Goblin I Saw You With?

Wow, Harry suits up as the Green Goblin again, to take out the new Goblin — his psychiatrist, Dr. Barton Hamilton! Barton ends up blowing himself up, and Harry (of course) ends up with some kind of limited amnesia. Liz Allen’s return completes the happy ending.

Rating:

The Goblin’s Always Greener…!

Well, as I suspected, Harry Osborn was not the new Green Goblin! Yet another cliffhanger here, as Spidey, the Goblin, and Silvermane seem to be plummeting to their deaths.

Rating:

Green Grows the Goblin!

Spidey continues to tangle with the Goblin while his Aunt May needs him in the hospital! Oh, the drama!

Rating:

Goblin in the Middle

There’s a bit character in here named Murray Futterman. This also ended up being the name of a dude in Gremlins, six years later.

While Pete is off looking for the Goblin, Aunt May suffers another heart attack!

I was surprised to see Silvermane’s return — I was pretty sure he was dead. I guess it didn’t stick.

Another cliffhanger ending, with the Goblin about to reveal Spidey’s secret identity to all of New York’s underworld.

Rating:

He Who Laughs Last…!

This issue picks up right after the end of the last, with Spidey bringing JJJ back to safety. The next morning, Aunt May has a heart attack while fighting a cop.

Later, the Green Goblin finally makes his appearance, and the issue ends with him tossing Flash Thompson out of a window. Len Wein wants me to think the Goblin is Harry Osborn, but I suspect otherwise…

This issue was really good, and got back to a lot of the personal lives of the characters, and more interesting back-story stuff.

Rating: