What If Gwen Stacy Had Lived?

So this is a What If? story and is obviously non-canon. However, it contains a canon framing sequence of Pete visiting the site of Gwen’s death, one year after it happened.

I read this in totally the wrong spot, based on a hasty misreading of an old post on the MCP forums. Around now in my order is actually, apparently, the third anniversary of Gwen’s death, not the first. I should have read this book between Giant-Size Super-Heroes 1 and Marvel Team-Up 22. Oh well.

Both the framing sequence and the “what if” part were both pretty cool. I definitely am looking forward to reading more of these books.

Rating:

“Step Into My Parlor…” / “…Said the Spider to the Fly!”

Well, the newspaper in this issue says February 27 1976, but we’ll just ignore that.

After a big, long Ross Andru stretch, Gill Kane’s art looks positively weird. I must say, I disapprove. Kane’s line work always bothers me, and his JJJ in this issue looks terrible. I do like the character designs for Harlan Stillwell and the Human Fly, though.

I realize this is a king-size annual or whatever, but it’s a bit of overkill to spend two whole pages on Spidey approaching a building a discussing said approach. That just reeked of filler. Once this issue got going it was pretty good, but it leaned too heavily on action and the A-plot, with no real B- or C-plots to be found. It would have been nice to touch on Peter Parker’s personal life bit, or something other than the Human Fly stuff.

Rating:

Spider-Man… …or Spider-Clone?

This is the first issue in ages not written by Gerry Conway. Weird.

Pretty crappy book overall, and a big letdown for the 150th issue. I don’t know if Archie Goodwin is permanent or not, but I’m not sure I’m up for the growing pains of another writer.

Spidey realizes he is not a clone, so I guess that’s something.

Rating:

The Night of the Frozen Inferno

This issue describes what happens to the Torch after he splits off from Spidey in the Giant-Size Spider-Man I just read. The stuff in this issue is also in Code of Honor 1, meaning my placement for that was even more screwed up than I though. Basically it’s the Human Torch and Iceman fighting this guy, Equinox, that has both their powers. He was kind of a cool villain, but I would have liked more of a back story on him. I hope he comes back.

Spidey was really only in it in flashbacks to GSSM 1.

Rating:

Man-Wolf at Midnight! / Duel of the Demon Duo! / When Strikes the Vampire!

Pretty good story in which John Jameson reverts to Man-Wolf form, Morbius comes to New York to control him, and Peter Parker gets nominated for Photographer of the Year. In the end, Morbius gets tricked into leaving, Jameson is still suffering from Man-Wolfism, and Pete does not win the award.

Twice in the issue characters say “that’s the boy” instead of “atta boy” or “that a boy”, and both times it caught me off guard and struck me as very odd.

This was fine, but I certainly didn’t dig the whole “giant-size” thing. For me it was way too long, and would have worked better being shorter, or perhaps spread across two issues. One of the biggest problems was that there wasn’t really a b-plot. It was just all Morbius and Man-Wolf for the whole thing.

Rating:

The Coming of…Stegron the Dinosaur Man!

Spidey os off to the Savage Land at the behest of Dr. Curt Connors, to stop a dinosaur-man named Stegron. A few comments:

• This issue starts off dumb, with Spidey opting to make a web parachute instead of accepting the offer of a real one. I’ve always hated the web parachutes, but this is stupider than normal. Even if he was able to make web parachutes and even if he had full confidence in them – which we’re shown, he does not – it’s a waste of web fluid. Why not just accept the real parachute? I guess Spider-Man always has been kind of a show-off, but this still bugs me.
• Weird art mistake – missing Spider from Spider-Man’s chest:

  

• Zabu the sabretooth tiger also looks incredible weird in this issue. Fail.
• Len Wein’s narration is bugging me again. Check this out:

  

  Based on this narration, the Savage Land is a creationist’s dream – man co-existing with dinosaurs, literal interpretation of Genesis. Maybe I’m just a modern cynic, but I really don’t need the Old Testament being brought into my Spider-Man comics. (BTW, there’s another Old Testament reference too: Stegron’s dinosaur-transporting airship is called “The Ark”.)

• Another thing I have a problem with is Spidey the golden-haired Ka-Zar fighting all the dark-skinned “barbarian” swamp men. I’m sure it’s not meant to be overtly racist, but it bothers me that Savage Land natives are depicted this way.
• At the end of the issue Stegron and a bunch of dinosaurs are heading towards NYC. All of that stuff is shown in Code of Honor 1, which means I read that book in the wrong spot. Boo.

Rating:

Chaos at the Earth’s Core

What’s up with the “everybody!” credit for the inkers? That’s just weird.

Spider-Man and Mr. Fantastic versus the Mole Man. When I was a kid watching the old 60s Spider-Man show, the Mole Man was always one of my favourite villains. I found the idea of people living under the surface of the earth — undetected — completely fascinating. I also have always loved the character design on him for some reason, especially his bitchin glasses. Because of this history with the character, I was pretty stoked to read this issue, the first in my project featuring the Mole Man. (Note: he’s shown up twice before, but never as a main character.)

First of all, I loved Gil Kane’s art in this. Regular readers know that I flip flop on Kane all the time, but this is one of his better issues, in my opinion. Check out the expression on Mole Man’s face here:

…or this amazing laser cannon page:

Good stuff. The story moves along at a nice clip, but the dialogue feels unpolished. My biggest complain is that my high hopes for the Mole Man were let down here. He’s not bad, but he doesn’t have much characterization beyond simple mad-scientist clichés. This was still an entertaining story, though, and the art pushes it up past average calibre.

Note that once again, Spider-Man is completely unaffected by the death of “an almost-infinite number of” subterraneans, the Basilisk and (evidently) the Mole Man. He doesn’t even bat an eye. It’s weird.

Rating:

Beware the Basilisk My Son!

Terrible issue. I take issue with both physics and linguistics stuff in this issue, both of which are sticking points with me. It’s about an alien rock giving some loser powers, and then Spider-Man and Captain Marvel trying to stop him.

Rating:

Mayhem is…The Men-Fish!

As usual for this book, Spider-Man picks a fight for no reason. This time, it’s with the Sub-Mariner. Again, as usual, the quickly team up to fight a baddie. In this issue it’s some guy named Dr. Dorcas and his minion, Tiger Shark. Despite the formulaic structure, this was a really enjoyable issue. The dialogue and pacing were both snappy, and some of the art was really cool.

Also, there was this:

Hehe.

Rating:

The Mark of the Man-Wolf

Ten days since Gwen and Norman Osborn bit it, and things aren’t getting any better for Spider-Man. The issue opens in the rain, and it’s a perfect way to set the mood. Mysteries still abound – who is covering up Osborn’s secret identity? What was up with that guy in Montreal that wanted to see Aunt May?

Those questions won’t be answered here, unfortunately. This issue shows Peter’s continuing struggle to deal with Gwen’s death, as well as introducing a new problem: J.J. Jameson’s son John has become a werewolf!

First, the Gwen stuff. Pete oscillates between trying to convince himself that he’s fine and ready to move on, and having wild outbursts and mood swings that point to the exact opposite. He attempts to go to class, can’t handle it, and flips out at MJ and Flash. These school scenes are the best in the issue. Later, he cracks up and smashes a newspaper box, destroying its content. (Sure he often destroys way more property than that, but it’s usually in the form of Spider-Man and usually for a greater good. This time he was just venting.) He then takes off, fully intending to attack Jameson. He’s become unhinged. The anger fades, but still…pretty shocking that it bubbled up in the first place.

Man-Wolf: Dave Hunt’s colouring gets lousy marks for his work on John Jameson. The Junior JJ has always been a striking brunette, but Hunt has given him completely grey hair. I realize that his hair could have greyed over time, but it’s obviously just a screw up. It irks me. And what’s with all the werewolf stuff? This is from September ’73. In August ’73, Spider-Man was dealing with the Werewolf. Now he has Man-Wolf? Gerry Conway wrote this one and plotted the other one, so it isn’t just a crazy coincidence. Conway’s wolf-crazy.

This issue wasn’t bad, and it’s nice to get back into an issue that’s taking a larger look at the ongoing arc, rather than just wrapping everything up super neatly. The Man-Wolf stuff doesn’t get resolved here, and is continued in the next ASM.

By the way, I think this is the last Gil Kane appearance in Amazing Spider-Man. His art here pretty much sums up how I’ve felt about his whole run – it’s a total mixed bag. There are some things in here that I love, that look totally awesome. And there are some panels that just look uninspired and bad. I don’t know if it’s just me, but Kane’s work has never seemed consistent. I’m usually excited by artist changes, and this isn’t an exception. I just hope the new stuff is by someone good!

Rating:

The Granite Sky!

Hmmm…Len Wein’s narration is almost as annoying as Gerry Conway’s. I’m also not digging Gil Kane’s work here. I’m totally back and forth with him, it’s crazy. I really liked what he’s been doing recently, but here everything’s too rough, there are too many lines. It makes all the characters look old.

In this issue Spidey and Captain America team up to help S.H.I.E.L.D. fight the Grey Gargoyle (spelled both “Gray” and “Grey” in the same issue!) and A.I.M.

My favourite part of the issue:

This was pretty typical fare. Other than the fact that Spidey is still ostensibly considering quitting, this issue doesn’t serve to advance the greater story arc.

Rating:

…Just a Man Called Cage!

Chemistro!
Words: Steve Englehart
Pictures: George Tuska, Billy Graham
Lettering: Charlotte Jetter
Coloring: Petra Goldberg
Originally published: August 1973

…continued from where the last issue left off. the mysterious person from the last issue has removed goblin’s costume, so that spider-man is now being blamed for osborn‘s death, rather than the goblin’s. jameson has vowed that spider-man will die for this and decides to hire luke cage to take spidey out.

gwen’s funeral gives a good chance for conway to over-narrate. once that’s over, the funeral scene is pretty good i guess. pete and flash bury the hatchet, everyone’s sad, and pete admits to mj that he feels lost without gwen. jjj doesn’t show up, which surprised me. i know he can be a self-centered jerk, but he often has a caring side that comes through. robbie defends jameson, saying that sometimes jj can just be tactless, but it still seems a bit out of character. i guess maybe it can be explained if we assume jj’s just distraught by his friend norman osborn’s death. the reason jj missed the funeral was to go hire luke cage to capture spider-man, dead or alive.

later, pete’s swinging around to try and clear is head, but it’s not working. unlike with uncle ben and george stacy’s deaths, this time pete doesn’t feel any guilt. he does feel intense sadness and loneliness. once again, peter considers retiring from the whole super-hero game, but this is right when luke cage takes the opportunity to tackle him. spidey gets pissed and temporarily kicks cage’s ass. all thoughts of quitting are gone, at least for the moment.

when pete gets home harry is there, and he gives old petey the coldest shoulder i have ever seen. it’s a pretty bitchin scene.

pete leaves, goes out with mj to the uni. cage shows up, they fight. spidey comes to his senses, and they end up talking it out. cage returns jameson’s money. the talk apparently also made peter realize he isn’t alone…because he’s friends with luke cage? that’s just weird and dumb. maybe if they showed the talk it would make more sense, but it comes off as trite.

the issue is not terrible, but the luke cage stuff falls a little flat. pretty weak cross-over in my opinion. it would have been nice to have an issue dealing with pete’s grief that wasn’t just a shameless promotion of another book. oh well. the personal stuff – funeral, mj, harry – was all really good, and i’m excited to see who the mystery man is that messed with osborn’s body.

spider-man appears in the splash page of luke cage’s book, as a flashback to their fight from asm. the story then goes completely elsewhere. this is spider-man’s only appearance in hero for hire, by the way. the issue is not half-bad, and it’s really interesting how different in tone it is from the spider-man books. i liked it, but this ain’t a luke cage blog.

Rating:

The Goblin’s Last Stand!

Spider-Man is furious after the Green Goblin has killed Gwen Stacy. Before attacking Osborn, though, Pete takes the time to bring Gwen’s body down to a nearby pier. He then launches into a very fast and, unfortunately, very sloppy attack. The Goblin is able to escape.

Returning to the pier and Gwen’s body, Pete finally has a chance to say goodbye to her. In fact, he says much more than goodbye and has a quite lengthy conversation to her, which is really quite sad and slightly disturbing. Again, Conway does a fantastic job of capturing Peter’s anguish. The police have also arrived, though, and when they demand a little attention, Spider-Man loses it and ends up getting into a bit of a brouhaha. Blaming himself for Gwen’s death, Spider-Man takes off to try and quash his guilt the only way he knows how – by seeking revenge on the Green Goblin.

Peter’s first stop is the Osborn mansion, to see if he can get any information out of Harry. The poor sod is in the midst of a major freakout and, disgusted and angry, Pete turns to leave. When his friend begs him to stay and help, to not abandon him like everyone else has, Pete just turns his back and literally slams the door in Harry’s face.

This scene is another example of Conway’s surprisingly great writing in this issue. Rather than have Peter be a hero and help his friend, Conway instead makes him much more human. Pete is overcome with grief and revenge is all he can think about. Yes he acts like a complete dick to Harry, but it’s understandable and makes for a much more powerful issue.

Next, Pete – as Spider-Man – heads over to the Daily Bugle in hopes of rounding up some info about Norman Osborn. With the help of Robbie Robertson, he’s able to track the villain down to a warehouse. The Goblin, meanwhile, is expecting Spider-Man and lays a trap. When Pete finally arrives though, he outsmarts Osborn and is able to take him by surprise.

While they fight, the Goblin makes the very unwise move of calling Gwen useless, and saying that “she never did more than occupy space”. This, naturally, riles Peter up like nobody’s business and he just starts wailing on the Goblin. He’s just seriously beating the living crap out of Osborn and, I must admit, it’s very satisfying to see. After awhile, though, Peter begins to come to his senses and realizes that if he continues, if he kills the Goblin, he’ll be no less of a murderer than Osborn is.

Taking advantage of this break, the Goblin uses a remote control to activate his flyer, behind Peter. As Peter struggles with his demons, Osborn sends the glider hurtling towards Spider-Man. What he hasn’t taken into account, though, is Pete’s spider sense. Just at the last instant, Spider-Man ducks out of the way and slams into the Green Goblin instead. The razor sharp tips of the glider, propelled by its jet engine, pin Osborn’s body to the brick wall. Only after the jet dies down does Osborn’s lifeless body slump to the ground.

Realizing that his foe is dead brings no satisfaction to Peter. He realizes that the death is meaningless, and that he now feels even more empty and alone. As Pete sulks away, we see that he is being watched by a mysterious man in the shadows.

In an epilogue, Pete finally arrives back at his apartment and finds Mary Jane. With grief and anger still washing over him, Pete snaps at MJ. He basically calls her shallow, and uncaring, and he orders her to leave. But, unlike Peter only a few hours earlier, she stays behind to help her friend.

This issue is no worse than the last. Conway finishes up his story with great skill, and creates a very powerful turning point for our hero. Basically every praise I gave for issue 121 still holds true here. I was very pleasantly surprised with the quality of this book.

Rating:

The Night Gwen Stacy Died

I had written a glowing review of this issue, as well as reviews of the next three things on the list. Then I accidentally deleted them. So this is my second go-around at it. Normally I wouldn’t be thrilled at the prospect but, frankly, this issue was so good that I don’t mind re-reading and re-reviewing it.

Amazing 120 ended with Peter wrapping things up in Montreal. At the start of this issue he’s back in New York, ready to go visit a very sick and drug-addled Harry Osborn. Harry has been taking LSD and is quite sick. Harry’s diagnosis says that the drugs, combined with Harry’s existing state of depression has led to schizophrenia. When Peter actually tries to go see Harry, he is confronted by a very angry and very unhinged Norman Osborn. Osborn accuses Peter, along with Gwen and MJ, for Harry’s situation and orders them out of his house. Freaked out by the episode, Peter can’t help but wonder if Osborn is starting to lose control and slip into the grip of the Green Goblin again. After they leave, Norman Osborn, consumed with legitimate worry for his son and concern over his dwindling fortune, is beginning to crack up. Outside, Pete and Gwen wonder aloud about Harry’s motivations for taking the drugs, Mary Jane casts her eyes downward in shame and mumbles a half-hearted “I don’t know.” I suspect that MJ might know more about Harry’s troubles than she’s letting on.

Later, Spider-Man is heading to the Bugle and finds himself winded and dizzy. This is the part of the issue I have the biggest problem with, for three reasons. This “Peter has an illness” sub-plot has been used before, I believe even used the last time Pete fought the Goblin. It’s sole purpose is to provide an excuse for Peter fighting at a level below his norm. Having been done before, the sheer mention of his illness comes across as being tired and unoriginal. Furthermore, the reason for this illness is extremely flimsy – Pete speculates that because he’s not used to the “zero-degree weather” up in Canada, he must have picked up a virus. Here’s the problem:

1. Montreal’s weather isn’t that different from NYC’s
2. Viruses have nothing to do with temperature

Anyway, I know this is a small problem to focus on. Frankly, it’s really the only weakness in the issue, so it’s easy to blow it up out of proportion. Onwards…

Back at the Osborn home, Harry’s doctor has just left and Norman is feeling guilty about everything. As his sanity starts to slip away he has a hallucination of Spider-Man attacking him and, as he vows to kill Spidey, all of Norman’s memories flood back to him. He remembers that he is the Goblin, and he remembers that Peter is Spider-Man. Taking off into the night, Osborn heads straight to one of the Goblin’s old hideouts and makes his transformation complete.

As Pete heads back to his apartment, he’s looking forward to a long overdue talk with Gwen. Little does he know that the Green Goblin, aware of Peter Parker’s secret identity, is heading to the same apartment where Gwen is waiting. When Peter arrives he finds the apartment a mess. A small, unmistakeable pumpkin sits atop Gwen’s handbag on the floor.

Desperate to find the Goblin and Gwen, Spider-Man heads out into the city, trusting his spider sense to lead him in the right direction. He is finally drawn to the top of the George Washington Bridge, where he finds his prey. As Spidey approaches, the Goblin calls out his conditions – either Spider-Man dies, or Gwen Stacy does.

Not satisfied with this offer, Spider-Man attacks and, after a fairly brief fight, delivers a massive blow to the Goblin’s ugly mug. As Spider-Man races towards an unconscious Gwen, he doesn’t realize that the Goblin has recovered quicker than anticipated. Just as Spidey reaches her, the Goblin swoops by on his glider and sends Gwen toppling towards the icy water hundreds of feet below. Thinking quick, Spidey shoots out a web to catch Gwen and he does!

Giddy with relief, Spider-Man pulls Gwen back up… only to find that she is dead! There is some controversy over the cause of Gwen’s death. The Goblin tells Spider-Man that the shock of the fall killed Gwen, that nobody could live through a fright like that, and Spider-Man accepts this explanation. Some people believe that Gwen was dead before the Goblin even sent her over the edge, that she was dead before Peter arrived.

I believe most people – myself included – think that the cause of Gwen’s death was Spider-Man’s own web. There is an unmistakeable “snap!” as the web stops her descent, indicating that the sudden stop caused a massive whiplash and broke her neck. Unknowingly and quite unintentionally, Peter has killed his own true love. Of course, that’s only in the most direct sense. Has Pete done nothing, Gwen surely would have died anyway. The Goblin had condemned her and there was really nothing Peter could have done, but the details really do make it a much sadder situation.

The panels when Peter realizes that Gwen is dead are incredibly moving and convey very realistic emotion. It’s impressive that Conway and Gil Kane manage to make Spider-Man so expressive behind his mask. In a way, it reminds me of Hugo Weaving’s performance in V for Vendetta – there is a surprising depth of emotion coming through, even though all the features and details of the face are hidden.

The issue ends with Spider-Man, clinging to Gwen’s body, shaking his fist in the air and vowing that the Goblin will die for what he’s done.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I usually hate Gerry Conway’s writing. The drastic shift in quality from his usual output to this issue is startling. Conway manages to tell a very human, very touching story here. I don’t know if maybe he’d been putting in so much time and effort on this issue that his other work suffered, or if he really just finally hit his stride here. All I know is that this issue was great and lived up to my very high expectations.

Besides Conway’s writing, the art by Gil Kane (along with Romita, Mortellaro and Hunt) and even the lettering by Artie Simek were fantastic. Other than the annoying bit about Pete’s virus, this issue was damn near perfect.

Having reached this point in the project is weird. Gwen Stacy’s death has always been a milestone in front of me, and now that I’ve passed it I’m not sure what I have to look forward to. Part of me is eager for the Secret Wars, for Venom and Carnage, for the Clone saga. But none of these are as iconic and important to Spider-Man’s history – and the history of comic books – as Gwen Stacy’s death. This issue was a very important marker in the project, and I’m very glad it was as good as I had hoped.

Rating:

The Fight and the Fury

The comic says Montreal is the largest city in Canada. Was that true in 1973? I’m assuming they mean by population, and I find it hard to believe. I’m pretty certain Toronto would have been bigger then, just as it is now.

Thankfully, the whole Hulk storyline seems to get wrapped up extremely quickly when the Hulk just decides to leave. Lame, but definitely a relief.

Before figuring out the Aunt May situation, Peter calls Gwen to see how Harry’s doing and finds out that Harry’s back into the drugs! :O Pete doesn’t have much time to focus on this, though, as he realizes that he’s being tailed. After a quick costume change, Spidey discovers that the guy has been hired by none other than Dr. Octopus. Spider-Man doesn’t have the opportunity to learn more though, as just then the stupid army shows up to bug him about the Hulk’s disappearing act.

After getting away from that mess, Pete heads off to meet the mysterious Mssr. Rimbaud, the man who claims to have extremely important information for Aunt May. On the way to the meeting, Peter’s car is once again followed. Everything’s getting interesting, which means it’s time for Hulk to show up to interject some lameness. The Hulk stops Pete’s taxi and forces another long, boring fight.

Once that’s finally out of the way, Pete finally meets Rimbaud and is about to get the important information, when Rimbaud gets shot! Come ON! Such a tease. Hopefully this will get resolved soon, but for now we’re left with the knowledge that the Green Goblin will appear in the next issue. And you know what that means!

Rating:

…As Those Who Will Not See!

Continuing where the last issue left off, Spidey is hanging out in the Baxter building with an unconscious Puppet Master. The Vision has left. In walks the Thing (and his girlfriend, Alicia), and he’s pissed to find intruders. Once the Thing sees the Puppet Master, he focuses his anger in that direction.

Then…a bombshell: the Puppet Master is Alicia’s step-dad! WTF? The scene continues in soap opera antics when the Thing drags the Puppet Master off to another room to beat some startling information out of him: Alicia’s blindness might be cured. Apparently back in the day the Puppet Master was a scientist working with Alicia’s dad. In a jealous rage, PM killed Alicia’s dad and caused an explosion that blinded Alicia. Later, he married the mom.

Everybody piles into the Fantasticar to go to the Puppet Master’s old lab and try to find a cure for Alicia. Once they arrive, a booby trap temporarily takes out Spidey and the Thing. He runs off into the lab to hang out with his buddy, the Mad Thinker; apparently this is their secret lair. When Thing and Spidey come after them, the Mad Thinker uses a bunch more traps to try to stop them. The traps don’t work, the good guys save the day. At the end it kind of seems like the Puppet Master kills himself (and the Mad Thinker with him), but I’m guessing this isn’t actually the case.

Another really bad issue courtesy of Gerry Conway.

Rating:

A Passion of the Mind!

Spidey is up late at night, swinging around and sees a man staggering. When the man trips and falls to the ground though, he slides right into the sidewalk. It turns out it’s the Vision, and something is loco in his cabeza. The Vision ends up blacking out, so Spidey brings him back to his apartment (even though Harry is there). When the Vision regains consciousness he tells Spider-Man that he’s been having extremely painful epileptic seizures – CAUSE UNKNOWN. Then, as if to illustrate his point, he has one.

Our attention is directed towards the Puppet Master. He has found an alien spacecraft and robot thing, and is building a puppet to control it. His grand plan? Revenge on the Fantastic Four. Somehow the first step towards this goal is to send the robot after gems and jewelry.

Back at the apartment, the Vision is feeling better. He and Spidey take off and go to a hospital. Spider-Man uses some of the equipment there to check the Vision out and discovers that V has two sets of brainwaves. Weird. Then Vision has another seizure. Elsewhere the Puppet Master and his robot are flying over to the Baxter building. The robot gets PM inside and past the building’s defenses. The Fantastic Four aren’t home.

We then get two panels that sort of explain what’s going on, but they make no sense. I guess Spider-Man has a device that picked up a weird broadcast frequency, coming from the Baxter building. It is this frequency that’s been acting like a brainwave for the Vision. I guess that’s an explanation, kind of…

Anyway, of course once the good guys arrive they fight the bad guys. Vision manages to destroy the Puppet Master’s robot puppet, and that fixes his brain. Conway goes on about some memories of a long-dead man or something…it really makes no sense at all. It turns out the robot was a Skrull scout, by the way. As if that makes things clearer.

Gil Kane art here is pretty nice. I can’t get a handle on this guy, sometimes I like him, sometimes I despise him. Gerry Conway still gets on my nerves like crazy. I hate his narration, man. I hate it so much.

Rating:

And Then– The X-Men!

Note that this is still taking place within Amazing 105, after Harry’s party but before the Spider Slayer robot comes into play.

We start with Pete having nightmares about Morbius. Harry wakes Peter up, but Pete refuses to go see a doctor. Apparently this has been happening a lot – like for a week – and Pete decides he does finally need to do something about it. He decides to go back for another visit to Professor Hans Jorgenson. Meanwhile, Morbius has a similar idea and also goes to visit Jorgenson. Morbius knocks him out and takes him away, hoping Jorgenson can make him a full-on vamp even during the day. When Spidey arrives, they’re both gone. And when some bitch walks in to find Spider-Man there and the Professor missing, the cops assume the worst and Spidey gets blamed for Jorgenson’s kidnapping.

In Westchester county, Professor Charles Xavier reads the news of his old friend Jorgenson’s disappearance and sends his X-Men out to retrieve Spider-Man. They all – well, all except Beast – go out fight Spider-Man, and subdue him enough to talk. Spidey is a little under the weather and blacks out, and so the X-Men race him back to Xavier’s compound.

Once there they consult Jorgenson’s notes, and discover that Spider-Man has less than four hours to live!!! Professor X also determines that Spider-Man is not a bad guy, BTW. Anyway, to save Spidey they need to get Morbius, so the X-Men head out once again. They find him, they fight, the X-Men win and return with both Morbius and Jorgenson.

Then they save Spider-Man — and Spidey fucking kisses Jean full on the lips! What the heck is that shit? What about Gwen? Jesus. Then he just fucking dives through a window to leave. “Thanks for saving my life guys, excuse me while I but the place up.” Man, fuck Gerry Conway – he’s got no grip on Spidey’s personality. And his shitty narration drives me bonkers!

Rating:

The Spider Slayer!

• Boring B-plot about Randy and some others protesting the Bugle for their treatment of minorities and the common man. I like when the comics have a somewhat political bent, but it would also be nice if there was actually an interesting plot about it, not just a handful of boring throw-away panels.
• Mrs. Watson moved to the coast, leaving Aunt May alone.
• Party for Harry’s return from the hospital includes Flash Thompson, who is back for good, and a flirtatious MJ.
• Jameson gets angry with Spider-Man, contacts Professor Smythe again, hires him and his Spider Slayer robot.
• Smythe overrides Jameson’s controls, uses the robot to both defeat Spidey and steal some computer part (and frame Spider-Man for it). Why even involve Jameson? Why not just do that himself?
• The computer part controls crime-prevention video cameras that have been placed around the city, which Smythe wants to use to spy on shit and cause crime. Really dumb.
• Smythe uses them to learn Spider-Man’s identity.

Absolutely terrible, terrible issue. I didn’t think Amazing could get worse with Stan returning, but it did. Ugh.

Rating:

The Beauty and the Brute

• Ka-Zar saves Spider-Man from quicksand.
• Spider-Man pretty much admits to Ka-Zar that he’s Peter Parker by continuously referring to his love of Gwen Stacy.
• backstory: Kraven came to kill Ka-Zar, found an infant Gog in a crashed spaceship, rescued him and raised him.
• Spidey and Ka-Zar and Zabu rescue Gwen and defeat Kraven.
• Kraven goes flying off a cliff. I wish he stayed dead, I hate Kraven stories. But I’m pretty sure he’s not.
• Spidey traps poor Gog in the quicksand. He basically murders the relatively innocent alien.
• Everyone goes home happy, though without the photos they came for.

This is still a shitty King Kong rip-off tribute. They refer to Kong a couple times, which just makes it more annoying.

I’m really starting to hate Gil Kane. Check out this terrible panel. That’s supposed to be Peter on the left. He looks like a 50-year-old bloated corpse.

I hated this issue.

Rating:

Walk the Savage Land! / Gog!

Gil Kane’s art is starting to bug me I think. It’s not as…clean?…as some of the other Spidey artists. I dunno, it’s just kind of rubbing me the wrong way. There’s too much crosshatching and lines and shit. Ugh.

The Bugle’s in financial trouble, and Jameson has an idea to boost sales – an in-depth look at Kazar’s jungle in the Antarctic – the Savage Land. Before setting off, Pete patches things up with Gwen, then makes her angry again, then takes her to the Bugle. Once there, Jameson decides Gwen should go to the Antarctic too, that she is what his expedition is missing. It’s all very King Kong.

Once they’re there, things get kinda hairy. There are dinosaurs and shit. Gwen wears a bikini. There are “savages” that attack with spears. And a crazy giant monster named Gog that kidnaps Gwen. To save her Pete turns into Spider-Man, fully realizing it’ll blow his secret identity. Then Kraven the Hunter shows up, because apparently Gog is his minion. Kraven wants Gwen as is Queen in his new Savage Land home. The issue ends with Spider-Man stuck in quicksand.

Um, this issue kind of sucked. It was just a string of worn, bad clichés. Normally I like when Spidey is in a different setting, but not when there’s absolutely nothing interesting or original happening.

Rating:

Vampire at Large! / –The Way it Begin / The Curse and the Cure!

This is some kind of crazy extra-long issue in three parts. Maybe because it cost 25¢ instead of 15¢? Or maybe it cost that much because it was so long? Or maybe they are both effects of a third cause? Or maybe they are unrelated?

After a quick recap of what’s been going on, we return to Spidey surrounded by Morbius and the Lizard. The two bad guys fight for awhile, while Spider-Man just kinda sits on the sidelines and doesn’t do anything. The fight is decided when Morbius launches the Lizard into some sort of electrical doodad and fries him. As Morbius prepares to sink into the Lizard’s throat, Spidey finally takes his cue and swoops in to stop him. Fed up with how difficult it is to get a decent meal in this mansion, Morbius takes off by flying right out a window into the night. Luckily, Spider-Man was able to put a tracer on his back.

Back in the house, the Lizard comes to — but although he still has the reptilian body, his mind is that of Curt Connors! Spidey and Lizard/Curt chitchat a bit, and then Connors turns half-way human for a minute, before turning back into the Lizard. They speculate that maybe Morbius’s little drink of the Lizard’s blood caused him to weaken and consider maybe using that to help Spidey with his arm problem — you know, because turning human makes the Lizard lose his arm. They don’t really follow up on it for the time-being, though, and just get to work on some chemicals and shit.

After awhile, teetering on the brink of becoming a jerk, the Lizard comes up with an idea: that Morbius didn’t do anything by removing something from his body, but that the change was due to an enzyme Morbius injected. Spidey and the Lizard take off after Morbius with a vial of serum, in search of the needed enzyme.

Meanwhile, Morbius is in Manhatten. The sun is starting to come up, and with it Morbius starts feeling intense remorse and a weakening of his strength. He finds a place to rest, and dreams of his origins. Michael Morbius was a European Nobel prize winning scientist studying vampire bats. The nature of his work is secret, even to his lady friend – but not to us. He’s using the bats – along with radioactive materials and electroshock – to try and cure some disease he has that’s dissolving his blood cells. Moving his research to the sea, Morbius and his assistant conduct the fateful experiment. When it’s all over, Morbius has been changed into the vampiric monstrosity we’ve already seen.

Soon after, his assistant Niko is dead at his hands. Morbius is shocked and disgusted at his acts, and becomes moreso when he begins lusting after the blood of his special lady. In an effort to end his own suffering and prevent that of others, Morbius leaps overboard in an ill-fated suicide attempt. In a manner that’s not quite clear, the human part of Morbius does drown, but the new monster within him survives. When he resurfaces he is bitter and hungry.

When Morbius awakes from his origin-dream, he finds a vagrant standing over him. So long Charlie! That dude is toast. Meanwhile, eight-limbed Spider-Man and the Lizard are swinging through town, on their way to intercept Morbius. Everything’s going swimmingly until the Lizard part of Connors’s brain takes over. It only lasts an instant, but it kinda freaks Spidey out.

We also check in on Gwen Stacy, who is upset about Pete’s brusqueness on the phone and his subsequent lack of communication. She cries, as usual. That whole relationship never makes any sense to me. Both of them always keep each other at arm’s length, and overreact to every thing. It’s completely dysfunctional in my opinion.

Back out in the open, Spidey and the Liz finally find Morbius and start to kick the crap out of him. They knock him out, take some of his blood to mix with that wacky serum they prepared and – bingo bango! – Curt Connors is back to normal! But what of Spider-Man and his probl-arm? Before Spidey can take his meds, Morbius wakes up and does some crap-kicking of his own. Before they can do anything to stop him, Morbius grabs the serum and takes off!

Although he puts up a valiant chase, Spidey is not able to keep hold of Morbius. The vampire disappears, apparently drowned in the river, but Spider-Man is able to get his webbing onto the vial of serum. Spider-Man feels pretty shitty about the whole thing, but on the other hand (haha!) he’s able to drink the potion and lose his extra arms.

Whew…that was seriously long, but it was also really good. Morbius was a pretty great character, but his origin story probably was the biggest drag of this issue. It just kind of interrupted the flow of the story. Whatever, it was all still pretty awesome, so kudos to everyone.

I do wish that there had been more six-armed Spider-Man stuff – he really didn’t use those extra limbs much or very well. I’m pretty sure they’ll be back, though, so I guess I have that to look forward to.

Rating:

A Monster Called…Morbius!

Some interesting firsts in this issue. First issue of Amazing where Stan Lee doesn’t have a writing credit! I guess after 100 issues he deserved a break. Also, the first time I’ve seen Morbius.

Well, after that exciting ending to issue 100, I’m super stoked about this! Let’s hope it’s good!

Things start off good with Peter having a bit of a panic attack about his extra appendages. Even amongst this anxiety, he manages to slip in a sweet Kafka reference. Peter finds himself in an awkward situation when Gwen calls and he has to avoid her. Also, I totally misread Gwen’s first line here:

You know, about the R-RATED FLICK. I was shocked (shocked!) when I saw it out of the corner of my eye. On the other hand, maybe that’s just what Peter needs. I actually think this may have been an intentional visual pun. Gwen suggests seeing “I am Curious (Yellow)” a movie with actual explicit real sex in it. I’m pretty sure the movie was banned in the US, so I’m not even sure it could have been playing. Seems like a pretty racy little thing to have in there.

Anyway, Pete tells Gwen he’s going to be out of town for awhile and, frankly, he’s kind of rude about it. He then gets a call from the Bugle and blows them off too. Trying to sort out his bind, Pete calls Dr. Curt Connors and gets permission to stay at Connor’s summer home, which just happens to be equipped with a lab. When Spidey arrives at the home, he finds a huge sea-side mansion, haunted house stylez.

Off-shore is a ship, on which crewman have been disappearing since picking up a strange man they found adrift. This is a pretty cool nod to Dracula, which has the vampire killing off crew on a boat voyage he makes. The crew has had enough of this, and they go to the hold to beat the crap out of their passenger. The man – Morbius – manages to escape them and hide out until nightfall…and when night does fall, he kills them all. Internally conflicted, Morbius jumps overboard just as dawn approaches. He makes his way to shore and, under the light of the newly risen sun, seeks sanctuary in the Connors mansion (with a wee Zola reference – sweet).

Meanwhile, back in said mansion, Spider-Man has been working on a cure for his affliction. After two days, though, he’s still nowhere and frustration is starting to get the better of him. As the day comes to a close, Morbius rises and finds Spidey. He makes some cryptic comic about recognizing him (has Morbius been around before? I didn’t think so…), but decides he needs to quench his thirst by drinking Spidey’s blood.

Morbius attacks and quickly overpowers Spider-Man, who realizes what he’s up against a little too slowly. Just as Morbius is about to dig in, Spider-Man is rescued by the sudden appearance of Doc Connors himself! When Morbius lunges at him, the adrenaline rushing through Connors’s body instantly transforms him into the Lizard! As the issue ends, Morbius and the Lizard are facing off over the right to kill Spider-Man.

This issue was pretty bad ass. It had some sex (sort of), it had a vampire that actually kills people, it had sweet literary references and let’s not forget that it had a six-armed Spider-Man. This was a hell of a lot of fun.

Rating:

The Spider or the Man?

Wow, 100 issues of Amazing Spider-Man. That’s pretty sweet. I’m expecting something fantastic in this issue, and hopefully I won’t be too disappointed.

Ok, things don’t start off well – I hate the cover. For one thing, it’s really ugly. Secondly, and most importantly, the whole “100th Anniversary Issue” thing pisses me off. It is not a 100th anniversary – the book has not been out for 100 years, it has been around for 100 issues. I realize sometimes the term “anniversary” in casual/informal speech can mean any kind of milestone date, but for this meaning the type of “anniversary” needs to be specified before the word “anniversary”. For example, “one week anniversary”, “three month anniversary”. For this meaning, the cover would have to say “100th Issue Anniversary” or “100th Issue Anniversary Issue”. But it doesn’t and is, consequently, quite wrong and irritating. Shit, I would even accept “100th Issueversary”.

Alright, sorry for the grammar rant. On with the issue!

We open on Spider-Man swinging around the city, looking for some action. He rounds up some bank robbers, but realizes the whole lifestyle is losing its thrill. He envies all the normal people on the city with their normal lives, and this turns his thoughts towards Gwen. He wants to propose, but he’s pretty worried about the whole “I’m the costumed freak you blame for your father’s death” thing. He resolves to give up being Spider-Man.

How can he avoid the temptation though? He figures there’s only one way – to devise some sort of scientifical experiment that robs him of his powers for good. Apparently he’s been working on this potion for years, just in case the radiation in his blood became dangerous. It is, in fact, all ready to go — but untested. Throwing caution to the wind, Peter drinks down the pee-coloured elixir and instantly goes bonkers, entering a world of bubbles, swirls and sparks. Pete lays down to try to sleep off the feeling.

Pete begins to dream/hallucinate about all sorts of important moments from his past – Uncle Ben’s funeral, losing Betty Brant, Captain Stacy’s death – and he gets super down on himself. Within the dream he hears a cry for help, and – as Spidey – rushes off. On his way towards it he runs into the Vulture, who claims that Spider-Man has no right to harm him, because Spidey only harms those he loves. Ouch. Spidey polishes him off and again rushes off towards the voice, but this time he is stopped by the Lizard. The Lizard calls Spider-Man insane which, though possibly true, isn’t really as hurtful as what the Vulture said (in my opinion). Even so, it hurts Spider-Man, who apparently has questioned his own sanity. Spidey takes care of the Lizard and once again sets out to help the mysterious voice.

Spider-Man’s path is blocked a third time when he encounters the Green Goblin. The Goblin calls Spider-Man a loser and a failure, and again this hits Pete a little too close to home. Spidey quickly beats the Goblin and heads off again to find his calling voice. As he starts out, though, he begins to feel a terrible throbbing pain in his side. Ignoring it, Spidey continues onwards, only to run into Dr. Octopus. (Hasn’t Stan Lee heard of the rule of threes?) Doc Ock questions Spidey’s motives, claiming that he’s a fraud that wanted fame and glory, not to actually help people. Spider-Man defends himself against Ock’s barbs and his tentacles, and takes off once more with his side hurting even worse than before.

Spider-Man begins to realize the voice calling him is that of a man, a familiar voice, though he can’t recognize it. As he struggles to recognize and reach the voice, and to deal with his pain, Spider-Man is confronted by the Kingpin. Kingpin calls Spidey a failure (like the Goblin did – this is getting a wee bit repetitive), but Spidey contends that he is, at least, not a quitter and proves his point with some fisticuffs. As he leaves again, the pain has spread to his other side as well.

At last, Peter finds the source of the voice. It’s a big, giant, floating, glowing Captain Stacy head! The big giant head tells Peter that he knows who Peter really is, even if Peter doesn’t know himself. Stacy tells Pete that he’s done good by his powers and that he must accept his life as Spider-Man, not try to run from it. As Captain Stacy’s head fades away, Pete begins to regain consciousness.

Peter realizes the whole thing was a dream but wonders about Captain Stacy’s voice, which “seemed so real…almost as though it was– more than a dream”. Now awake, Peter realizes his sides are still hurting. As he looks down he sees — FOUR NEW ARMS SPROUTING OUT FROM HIS SIDES!!! Holy cannoli! He’s like a real freaking spider! The potion worked totally wrong!

Ok, I did not know that was coming. I knew at some point that Peter got more arms, but I thought it was much later and I thought it was because of some third-party magic or something, not something he did to himself. Talk about bitchin. What a great turn of events.

This issue was really great, it turns out. The whole dream sequence thing was a cool idea, a good way to do a retrospective without just rehashing shit from old issues. It also gave a nice fresh twist on Pete’s psychology and state of mind, which we hear a lot about and get stale without good writing. My biggest gripes are that the whole running-into-bad-guys section went on a little too long – three bad guys really would have been perfect, not five – and that I wasn’t in love with Gil Kane’s art. Despite these problems, it was still a really fun and interesting issue that lived up to my high expectations for a 100th issue anniversary issue.

Rating:

A Day in the Life of–

Pete and Gwen making out, being in love, etc. = nice but boring. Pete is going to propose to Gwen, but realizes he needs some money first. He heads to the Bugle and they assign him to a prison riot where the warden is being held hostage. Smart kid that he his, Pete demands a good price for his photos as well as a salary. Then it’s off to the prison, in full Spidey regalia!

When he gets there, Spider-Man finds out that the prisoners are simply fighting for their rights, including the right to a speedy trial. The leader of the riot, Turpo, is just using this to as a distraction while he orchestrates his own escape. Spidey busts in, busts up Turpo and his men, and stops the riot. The warden agrees to the help the prisoners with their complaints.

On his way home, Spider-Man sees Johnny Carson, who offers to put him on TV. Spidey on TV — that’s never been a plot before. When he gets on the show, Spidey gets up on his soapbox and starts talking about the state of the jails. Could this issue be any more boring? As he’s preaching about the justice system, the cops show up to arrest him. Kind of ironic I guess, but certainly not interesting.

Terrible, terrible issue. Even Gil Kane’s art, which I usually kinda like, looked pretty shitty here.

Rating: