Where Demons Feat To Dwell!

Another disappointing Dazzler issue. This one consisted almost entirely of a fight between about a million heroes and a bunch of demons called forth by the Enchantress. It was really boring and, even though the winning blow went to the Dazzler, it again seemed like a way to distract the readers from the title character.

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So Bright This Star

Well, my enchantment with the Dazzler is over. This issue was pretty terrible. I hate when debuts (or any issue really) is just filled to the brim with lame guest cameos, as a thinly-veiled attempt to draw in new readers. I guess it works — Spider-Man’s appearance is, afterall, why I’m reading this trash — but that doesn’t excuse it.

The issue fails on so many levels. First, Dazzler’s power seems to have gotten lamer since her appearance in Amazing Spider-Man. Instead of creating some kind of powerful light beams, she now creates silly light patterns in the air that simply befuddle her opponents. She also doesn’t seem to use her magic disco ball anymore, which is a total shame.

The structure of the issue is also a complete mess. The issue hops around from Dazzler to Spidey to the X-Men to a lame origin flashback to Asgard to the Avengers and back. It’s all a bunch of roundabout nonsense that leaves the reader as disoriented as the Dazzler’s victims.

Finally, the character herself is just completely uninteresting and unsympathetic. It’s fairly clear DeFalco doesn’t have any idea what to do with her, and it’s pretty telling that she only appears on of 15 out of 23 pages in her own debut title. The issue should be jam-packed full of Dazzler awesomeness, giving us an exiting taste of the character and the direction of the book. Instead we get weak filler.

(Also: Spider-Man makes a comment about getting photos for the Bugle. Potential problem in placement?)

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Homecoming!

This story sucked kinda. It was about one of the Guardians of the Galaxy, Vance Astro, trying to convince his younger self to not take the same path he did. While I generally like time-travel stuff, this was just boring. The Thing’s part was useless, too, which is kind of annoying since this is his book. Also, Spidey just showed up in one panel, saving a construction worker.

This guy looks like Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen:

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By The Dawn’s Early Light!

Dragon Man!
Writer: Roger Stern
Co-plotters: Roger Stern, John Byrne
Penciler: John Byrne
Inker: Josef Rubinstein
Letterer: Jim Novak
Colorist: Bob Sharen
Originally published: August 1980

Death, Where Is Thy Sting?
Co-plotters: Roger Stern, John Byrne
Penciler: John Byrne
Inker: Josef Rubinstein
Letterer: Jim Novak
Colorist: B. Sharen
Originally published: September 1980

The Terror of the Taskmaster
Writer: David Michelinie
Penciler: George Perez
Inker: Jack Abel
Letterer: John Costanza
Colorist: Carl Gafford
Originally published: June 1980

Cap For President!
Story: Roger Stern
Photography: John Byrne, Josef Rubinstein
Typography: James Novak
Color: George Roussos
Originally published: October 1980

CA 247-249 tell the tale of Machinesmith, a robot master. They’re good, but Spidey never appears. There is a Spidey robot, and an off-hand mention of the real Spider-Man, but that’s it. I just read them for fun basically, but technically they shouldn’t really be in the project. Also, CA 247 and 248 should have come before M/TU 95.

Avengers 196 features a one-panel flashback of Spidey swinging on a pole — completely inconsequential. Its story about the Taskmaster was pretty good as well.

CA 250 features Spidey in one panel, considering the possibility of Captain America as president.

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Verdicts

Ok, Marvels was pretty good. But all these other shitty painted books about real people are crap. Seriously, NO GOOD.

Update: this should come about one Marvel-year later than I have it.

Rating:

Cat’s-Paw!

This was a mostly uninteresting magic story that was mostly about Agatha Harkness and Franklin Richards. Agatha’s evil monster son tries to take over the world, and Franklin somehow stops him.

Peter Parker appears in one panel, getting shoved aside by some force waves, along with the rest of humanity.

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Writers: Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning
Artist: Igor Kordey
Letters: Richard Starkings
Design: Cindy Emmert
Originally published: September 1995

Oh my God, this was like, uh, so, uh, deep? Because it was about, uh, normal people? And, uh, the way they, uh, talked, was uh, so real.

I’m pretty certain I read these in the wrong spot, since Julia Carpenter (another Spider-Woman) appears, and she doesn’t really exist yet for the books I’m currently reading.

Rating:

There’s One Iron Man Too Many!

…And a Child Shall Slay Them!
Writer: Marv Wolfman
Illustrators: Keith Pollard, Joe Sinnott
Letters: Costanza
Colors: G. Wein
Originally published: February 1979

The Andromeda Attack!
Writer: Marv Wolfman
Illustrators: Keith Pollard, Joe Sinnott
Letterer: Jim Novak
Colorist: Francoise M.
Originally published: March 1979

Spidey’s unconscious from the Man-Wolf attack, so we’ll have a brief stopover with the Fantastic Four before rejoining him. First, the Fantastic Four battle Quasimodo and an evil duplicate of Iron Man. Next, the Fantastic Four fight evil duplicates of themselves. Finally, in 204, The FF deal with some Skrull stuff and Johnny Storm gets bamboozled by a fake university.

Spidey appears in a flashback in FF 202 and has a real appearance in FF 204, as a cut-away to a fight with the Man-Wolf in ASM 190. I’m reading 203 because it comes in between those! FF 202 and 203 should come before ASM 187, by the way.

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And Lo, A Child Shall Lead Them

I’ve been looking forward to this issue for a long time. Godzilla and Spider-Man are just too awesome a combination.

In the issue Godzilla attacks NYC and squares off against the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, and S.H.I.E.L.D. The story is fairly evenly split between the heroes fighting Godzilla, and some little kid asking Godzilla nicely to leave. The kid succeeds where the heroes’ violence failed. Spidey appears briefly photographing the big ol’ lizard.

This book wasn’t bad, really, but there wasn’t any depth to it either. Perhaps if I had read some of the other issues there would be more, but it all seemed really superficial. This is a pretty big disappointment, especially considering this is the last Godzilla issue — I would have expected a little more bang for my 40¢. Also, Spidey was barely in it! Dang, man.

JJJ looks like a crazy person and Robbie Robertson has a crazy-weird ‘fro. Oddly, Robbie says that he left “a message for parker with his girlfriend”, but at this point Parker doesn’t really have a girlfriend. Maybe I have this in the wrong spot, or maybe Robbie doesn’t realize Pete and MJ are on the splits. I guess they’re still kinda seeing each other, so it probably makes sense…

Rating:

…Like a Diamond in the Sky!

This issue had Thor and Iron Man fighting a giant orbiting evil computer. It was really bad. Spidey appeared in one of those “what’s happening with the rest of the world” panels.

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Crack of the Whip!

Fairly boring issue that sees the return of Jean DeWolff and her brother, the Wraith. This was very bland, and Iron Man did basically nothing.

Rating:

First Blood

Hmm…again, I jumped into the middle (or beginning?) and really had no idea what was happening here. It seemed mildly interesting, but without more info it’s really hard to tell.

Pete and MJ are seen when some shit goes down in Forest Hills.

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Death Watch!

Wow, I really thought this was going to suck for some reason, but it was awesome! Jim Starlin is the man!

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Excerpted material originally appeared in: Fantastic Four 44-47; Fantastic Four Annual 3; Strange Tales 161
Excerpted material by: Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Jim Steranko, Vince Colletta, Joe Sinnott, Frank Giacoia

This issue is about Reed and Sue’s wedding and the Fantastic Four’s first meeting with the Inhumans. Spider-Man appears in one panel that I believe is new, during the big wedding fight. This was read out of order.

There are two characters that I didn’t recognize and couldn’t tag.

I like this Marvel Saga stuff, it’s really making me understand stuff more.

Rating:

KISS / Precisely as Hot as Hell! / The Andromedia Hustle! / See Latveria and Die!

“Forty pages of full-color comics. Plus never-before-published photos and features. Printed in real KISS blood.“

Everything about this is badass!

Platform shoes? Check.
Blind old man in a fur loincloth? Check.
Gene Simmons breathing fire? Check.
Teleportation? Check.
Moon-shaped spaceship? Check.
Sexy robot ladies with machine guns and robot monks with laser eyes? Check.
Outerspace alien disco? Check.

This is literally the best comic I’ve ever read.

Here are some amazing panels and things. Check out the fucking awesome fake ad for Air Latveria!

Rating:

At Last: The Decision!

A new set of Avengers is chosen. It very much resembles the existing lineup. There are lot of flashbacks, including one with Spidey. This was kind of like a crappy clips episode of a sitcom.

Why is Ben Grimm human, but wearing a Thing costume? I’ve clearly missed something there.

I probably shouldn’t have this smack dab in the middle of a cliffhanger.

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The Trial of the Wraith!

Finally the conclusion of the Wraith storyline, after that truly bizarre and misplaced Spider-Woman break. It feels good to be back to Spider-Man stuff.

Courtroom drama unfolds at the trial of Brian and Phillip DeWolf. Despite a lot of action, the issue was fairly boring. Kind of a letdown after a fairly interesting start to the arc.

This issue had an extremely weird ending, where it was revealed that the judges trying the case had telepathic and telekinetic powers, and then cut to a random scene of the Hulk bounding around the New Mexico desert.

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The Mystery of the Wraith!

This issue was a fairly good almost-conclusion to the whole Wraith storyline, but there was far too much exposition for me. Still satisfying, but not the home run I was hoping for.

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Madness is All in the Mind!

Man, the Wraith is a really awesome bad guy. He’s got crazy sweet powers. And, we learn this issue, that he might be the ghost of Jean DeWolff’s brother! :O

Great issue, I’m loving this Bill Mantlo stretch on Team-Up.

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A Fine Night for Dying!

Great issue that kept up the mystery the whole way through. Bill Mantlo has a great sense of pacing. I also really loved Capt. DeWolff’s character, she was great (and so was her car).

This would have received a 4.5, except that there were a couple panels that irked me. A no-prize to anyone who can guess why.

Rating:

A Past Gone Mad!

Death in the Year Before Yesterday!
Writer: Bill Mantlo
Illustrators: Sal Buscema, Mike Esposito
Letters: K. Mantlo
Colors: J. Cohen
Originally published: April 1976

Future-Shock!
Story: Bill Mantlo
Art: Sal Buscema, Mike Esposito
Letters: Jean Izzo
Colors: George Roussos
Originally published: May 1976

…Am I Now or Have I Ever Been?
Story: Bill Mantlo
Art: Sal Buscema, Mike Esposito
Letters: John Costanza
Colors: P. Goldberg
Originally published: June 1976

After a brief interlude with that Family issue, we’re back to more time travelin! Woo!

Team-Up #43 – big, long, giant fight where Spidey, Vision, Scarlet Witch, and Doom all get their asses kicked.

Team-Up #44 – Moondragon shows up, and together everyone is able to beat the Dark Rider. The “witches” of Salem, though, still hang.

Team-Up #45 – Total War of the Worlds story as Spidey is flung into the future to fight invading Martians with Killraven. It’s 2019, “just eighteen years since the second Martian invasion of Earth!” Oh snap!

Team-Up #46 – Still in the future, though now in the year 1990 (!!!), Spidey meets up with Deathlok and fights radioactive zombie kids and the government!

I did not like that the Scarlet Witch killed a cat in #43, but I guess I can live with it, since Spidey was in mortal peril. :(

These aren’t the most amazing stories ever, but shit, they’re a lot of fun. TIME TRAVEL!

Rating:

Saturday Night Furor!

This is a Tarantula issue, not a Spidey issue. He’s Spidery enough for me, though!

Captain America is found floating in a river, with a face that’s not his own, and a bitchin case of amnesia. As he reconstructs the events of the last few days, he’s lead to an operation by the Tarantula. It’s a sweet story, I just wish there was more of Tarantula.

Rating:

Claws!

Um this was a really insane action-packed issue. The Avengers are always good for excitement, that’s for sure. As usual when I read some random book like this, I had not idea what was going on really. This time, though, I didn’t especially care. It was a pretty enjoyable book, considering.

Spidey appears in a flashback with the Cat, one of my favourite characters.

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Midgard Aflame!

Loki invades Earth — specifically, Washington, DC — and, to ensure his battle is solely with Thor, he immobilizes every other super-powered individual on the planet. This includes Spider-Man, who appears in a brief cameo.

Even though I don’t really know most of the backstory, this was a thoroughly enjoyable issue. It also made me realize how much I miss John Buscema’s art. Nothing against Ross Andru or anything, but John Buscema is fantastic.

Rating:

To The Death!

I’m back to my correct chronology, and it’s the Avengers and the Defenders vs. Dormammu. I’m not a fan of these super-hero orgy issues, where every damn last Marvel character is thrown in. This issue manages to overcome this a little, but is still a little on the weak side.

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