Doctor of Madness
Script: Steven Grant
Pencils: Carmine Infantino
Inks: Alan Gordon
Lettering: Diana Albers
Coloring: Bob Sharen
Originally published: September 1980
Another Marvel Team-Up, this time with the Hulk and Spider-Woman! Let me say right off, from the first page, the Hulk looks freaking weird here. Kind of like Blanka from Street Fighter II, or green Nick Nolte.
The story starts with the Hulk in Jude, New Mexico facing off with a Sheriff Bradley Martin. Predictably, men make Hulk made and Hulk smash. Nearby, Jessica Drew happens to be pulling into town on a bus. Apparently the town is home to a group smuggling criminals out of the country. Finally, we learn that the Sheriff is in cahoots with someone named Doc Benway, a potentially mad scientist who is interested in capturing the Hulk.
- Benway turns Hulk into Bruce Banner and captures him.
- Spider-Woman tracks criminal Johnny Yen to Benway’s “clinic” (i.e. the smuggling HQ).
- She discovers that Benway’s got weird beasties about his villa, which are apparently mutated criminals. So they aren’t so much smuggled as experimented on.
- Benway shoots Spider-Woman in the face with a raygun and captures her.
- He explains his dastardly plan
OK here’s the Doc’s plan: lure criminals to his villa with the promise of escape, transplant their brains into weird fantastical monsters which can be used to conquer other planets (what?), sell the organs from their original bodies to make money.
Here’s why it doesn’t make sense: Spider-Woman stumbles upon Johnny Yen in some sort of transformed state on an operating table. It’s clearly Yen, but mutated into some kinda half-bear or something. It is not just Yen’s brain in a weird man-bear body. So that’s a major contradiction within the span of about a page and a half. Also, why the hell does Benway care about making creatures “that can survive on the hostile worlds that mankind must someday conquer”? That’s just stupid.
Spider-Woman escapes her confines, finds and rescues Banner, he hulks out and then there’s a big brawl. Then we find out that the creatures aren’t even alive, they’re robots. Huh?! So are they robots with criminal brains? Or is that completely unrelated? This makes no sense. Whatever, then some shit happens and it ends. Good guys win.
This was horrid. Ugh, I just want to read some good comics!